Somebody get the Captain! There’s been a hull breach! We’re going down!
Tree before it gets cut down: wait! I'm a talking tree!
Lumberjack: and you will dialogue
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop “give me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...
“So... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”
Every time a car slows down, it always get offended
People keep shouting"Look! This guy has got some retardation!"
If you ever get locked out of your home, sit down and talk to the lock calmly
Because communication is key
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
My wife said, “Why did you forget to get all the stuff from the grocery store that I wrote down?”
I said, “When I got there, I felt.....listless.”
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. You get down from a goose.
Jack, Jill, and Rick needed to get down a hill
So Jill walked, Jack ran, and https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.
I’ll tell you what gets me down.
I don’t know how you guys get home every night but, I squat down, put my head between my knees and fall forward.
What do you get when a piano falls down a mineshaft?
The presidents guards aren’t allowed to scream “get down” before the president is attacked anymore.
They have to yell “Donald, Duck!”
Edit: whoever gave me the gold award, thank you so much. I would repay you in a way, but I don’t know who you are.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
How do u get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?
(I seriously don't get this) A traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down
He hiked several miles to a farmhouse, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight.
“Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but they’re off to college, and I’m all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up.”
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.
The farmer called after him,“Didn’t you hear what I said? I have lots of room.”
“I heard you,” said the salesman, “but I think I’m in the wrong joke.”
Three tomatoes are walking down a street: papa tomato, mama tomato, and baby tomato. The baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him. He says...
Wanna know what gets me down
A man bet another that a group of hippies couldn't get the meat down from a really high shelf without a ladder.
The cannibal replied "I can't, the steaks are too high"
I ran out of laundry detergent today. I didn't let it get me down.
I realized it was just the start of a whole new Era.
Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"
It certainly looks like you got it half off!!
I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!
How do you get a one-armed man down from a flag pole?
Waddya get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?
What is Harry Potters favorite way to get down a hill?
I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.
This evening’s definitely looking up
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
Just seen 2 old ladies get flashed by some man while they were walking down the street.....
One of the ladies had a stroke......
the other couldn't reach.
I was in the gym the other day, when I saw a man get down on one knee and propose to his girlfriend. Unfortunately she said no!
Well that didn't workout...
The secret service agents no longer shout "get down!" anymore.
They shout "Donald, duck!"
My wife sent me down the shop to get 8 cans of sprite...
But when I got home I realised I'd only picked 7up.
What tunes do exterminators get down to?
Smashmoth, Deadmouse, and Pop-a-roach
McDonald’s employee: “sir, please get down from the table”
Me: NO! pouring fries all over the floor I asked for TWO LARGE FRIES and you gave me hundreds of little ones”
If you’re trying to get your point across about something, try adjusting the decibel level of your voice up and down while talking.
It will speak volumes to people.
Every time the mail gets delivered, I break down crying.
I really should speak to a therapist about my post-traumatic stress disorder.
What’s the fastest way for Harry Potter to get down the mountain?
Many trees that get chopped down don't die
Why couldn’t the farmer get his cows to come down from the hill?
The steaks were too high.
What’s the hardest kind of tea to get down?
Two nuns are sat on a train, when a man gets on and pulls his trousers down.
One nun had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree ?
Pull down your pants, and show him your nuts °\°
Every year on New Year's Eve, when everyone's counting down the final 10 seconds to ring in the new year, I get up off the couch and stand up. I stand up and raise my left leg and just leave it raised for a little while until the countdown finishes and midnight strikes
that way I always start the new year off on the right foot
Chow down on the food that’s served, you’re going to get a good dessert
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. Down comes from a goose.
How do you get down off of an elephant?
You don't get down off an elephant, you get down off of a goose.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service aren’t allowed to yell “GET DOWN” anymore if the president is about to be attacked.
Instead they say, “DONALD, Duck!”
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell “Donald duck”!
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service doesn't have to tell "get down" anymore.
They have to tell "Donald Duck!"
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
How does Harry Potter get down hill?
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t, you get down from a duck.
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service doesn’t yell “Get down!” anymore when the President is about to be attacked.
They now yell “Donald, Duck!”
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
How does Harry Potter get down a hill
The secret service isn’t allowed to say “get down!” Anymore
Now they have to say, “Donald, duck!”
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? (Repost from r/dadjokes)
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't, you get down from a duck
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Since Trump became president, the secret service hasn't been allowed to yell "Get down!" when he is under attack...
Instead they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
What did I get by dropping a piano down a mineshaft?
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell, “Donald, duck!”
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t...you get down from a goose.
What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill? It’s walking.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
