I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you’d get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
The best way to get in touch with your long lost relatives....
....is to win the lottery.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why do bears never get lost?
Because they always have their bearings.
How did Genghis Khan get lost?
My neighbor came over again to tell me about his new lawn, so I told him to get lost.
I’ve heard enough of his sod stories.
What vegetable can you get lost in?
Don’t get lost in the sauce
Cause then you’ll have to ketchup
Why do gay people always get lost?
They can't think straight.
Why did the fish get lost?
He wasn't paying attention to current events.
I always get lost when maps crop corners because it turns into a maize
My wife looks at the atlass during road trips so we don't get lost
When I'm in the passenger's seat, I use the guy version. The atlad
Every year, a local farmer cuts certain parts of his corn crop before harvest for the entertainment of many who like to get lost.
They do their best to navigate that maize.
My dad says this everytime we get lost
Dad: Did I ever tell you I'm part of an Indian tribe
Me: Which one?
Dad: They were called the wherethefuckarewe
I took my kid to the pet store, and now he wants to get a porcupine who lost all its quills.
I said, “That’s completely pointless.”
3 friends get lost in the woods.
They stumble across a genie
Genie: I will grant each of you 1 wish
Guy 1: I wish to go home
Guy 2: I wish to go back home
Guy 3: now im lonely, I wish my friends were here
What do you call a catholic that often gets lost
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow and she’s wanted to get a new cat (recently lost our old one), so my son and I got a cat from the animal shelter, put her gently into a large gift bag and brought her home. Before I could shut my driver door my son ran inside and ruined the surprise...
Can’t believe he let the cat out of the bag.
When our trees lost their leaves last fall I told my son the trees had died. He said they’ll get new leaves in the spring.
I said “Oh. That’s a releaf!”
I’m a map guy - big fan. If you’re not into maps, then get lost.
I tried to talk to two strangers today and they both whisked their hands at me and told me to get lost.
I guess you could say I got a brand new pair of shoos.
Why did the explorer get lost when navigating with a compass?
If you get lost while driving a Jeep Compass
Why did Yoda get lost?
Because never soggy waffles eat
Tourist goes to London and gets lost
Goes up to a Londoner to ask for directions.
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know Bishops Walk?
Londoner: Why yes, it is good for them.
Remember, if you ever get lost in the desert, ...
You can always eat the sand which is there
How did the surfer get lost at sea?
Why do Mexicans always get lost?
Because they can only go Juan way.
I didn't think I'd get lost at sea, but now I'm not so shore.
Why do boy bands always get lost?
They can only travel in one direction.
When you are driving and get lost
"Well there I was, totally lost, I must've been driving around for half an hour looking for that place"
Dad: "I once had a car like that"
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way…
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me after all.
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself...
"Maybe a career as a tour guide isn't right for me?"
As i get older and remember all the people ive lost along the way, I think...
maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself...
maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
I took my son to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine that had lost all its quills.
I said, “That’s completely pointless.”
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