24 Hilarious Get Evens Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?

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👤︎ u/vignesh_shankar

📅︎ Aug 03 2020

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What do corals even get stressed about?

Current events

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👤︎ u/CryptographerVast964

📅︎ Sep 07 2020

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How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?

Because all that's left is WTF.

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👤︎ u/hypeaze

📅︎ Aug 04 2020

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Remember the good old days, before the pandemic? It used to be you could meet new people, maybe even fall in love and get married.

Now I’m just dating myself

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👤︎ u/The_Possum

📅︎ Apr 22 2020

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Don't even get me started talking about trigonometry.

I always go off on a tangent.

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👤︎ u/BlazerYanko

📅︎ Feb 12 2020

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If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire. v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31

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👤︎ u/brystander

📅︎ Sep 23 2019

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My buddy says that at his bar, they have your drinks made before you even get there.

He must be pretending.

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👤︎ u/WildcardSearch

📅︎ Nov 16 2019

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One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.

Stupid Subway

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👤︎ u/amicus_of_the_world

📅︎ Dec 08 2019

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Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.

"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik

📅︎ Dec 23 2019

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"Oh, not that movie again! How many times can you even watch John McClane kill some terrorists before you get tired?"

"I'm sorry, but you know how it goes. Old habits, Die Hard."

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👤︎ u/BLenciusMount

📅︎ Sep 10 2019

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With my last wish, I asked the genie for two more Liam Neeson kidnap movies, even though I knew I would only get Taken Four granted.

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👤︎ u/wizard7926

📅︎ Jun 25 2019

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only people with 200iq will get this. not sure he even meant it himself.

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👤︎ u/Gam1ngChair

📅︎ Feb 11 2019

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How did the sniper get drunk even though he was nowhere near any alcohol?

It was those long distance shots

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👤︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy

📅︎ May 06 2019

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My friend's cats constantly surround her. She can't even get a moment's peace to read a book.

Sometimes you just have to read between felines

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👤︎ u/kevincredible22

📅︎ Jul 27 2017

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My dad doesn't even need you to get it...

I showed my dad /r/dadjokes the other day and today when I saw him he ran over to me and could barely contain himself: Dad: Hey I told a joke today that made me think of you Me: Yeah? Dad: I had an orange on my desk and the person I was on the phone with was talking about something dangerous and I said "Orange you worried!"

The other guy couldn't even see the orange....

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👤︎ u/cmon_guyz_im_trying

📅︎ May 09 2014

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Even at 21, my dad still gets me.

Told my dad I was having trouble finding the right girl. He just smiled and said, "It's all just a myth man, I found your mother on my left."

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👤︎ u/GreatPunGuy

📅︎ Mar 19 2016

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I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...

that's what I call poetic injustice.

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👤︎ u/Everwars

📅︎ May 15 2017

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This didn't even get a groan.

My Fiance and I are getting into the elevator at a hotel we were staying at. We get in and the elevator was large and had blankets on the wall. Her: Weird, I think this is a freight elevator. Me: Freight so...

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👤︎ u/waltur_d

📅︎ Apr 06 2016

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My parents really encouraged me to go to college to get a degree after high school even thought I told them I already had 98.6 of them.

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👤︎ u/RyanTellsaStory

📅︎ Jan 17 2017

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Even if the Virgin Mary didn't get to have sex...

...at least she made a prophet.

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👤︎ u/CollinKlug

📅︎ Oct 23 2012

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I thought it was funny, even if she didn't get it

My kids wanted to camp in the back yard. My wife set the tent up while I was at work and expected me to sleep outside with them. I had to work the next morning. My wife was going to camp with them instead.

For reference, I call my daughter my princess and me and my wife have a queen size bed.

Daughter:(trying to talk me into camping with them)If you don't sleep outside you won't get to snuggle with your princess! Me: it's ok, I'll have a queen all to myself. Wife:groan

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👤︎ u/MoveLikeMacgyver

📅︎ Jun 01 2015

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The dad joke i didnt even get to hear...

I was talking on the phone with my parents and i was discussing my upcoming birthday. as soon as i mentioned this, i accidentally hung up on them. when i called back, my dad said that he continued the conversation with "so what do you want for your birthday" and upon hearing nothing from me because I had hung up he replied "good because thats exactly what we got you".

very funny dad

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👤︎ u/mrjanuary

📅︎ Dec 06 2015

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No one under 30 will even get this

Why did the farmer start wearing ear plugs?

He was tired of Hall'n Oats

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👤︎ u/Chewie83

📅︎ Feb 12 2014

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Didn't even get a groan, just a disdainful look

Girlfriend: Hey look this company is looking for a big data intern Me: Well fine, but I'm not very big Girlfriend: -______-

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👤︎ u/OnlyAMasterOfEvil

📅︎ Nov 10 2014

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