Gesundheit Puns

Guest: No thanks, I’m allergic to nuts.

Host: Which ones?

Guest: cah... cah... CA-SHEWS!!!

Achthundert

Bless U

In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.

"Issue."

"Gesundheit!"

I sneezed and my daughter said, "Gesundheit!"

My husband said, "Oh, hey, that's German for 'virgin', right?"

Confused looks from everyone.

Dad: "Ya know. Goes-in-tight?"

You know why im putting zucchini in with your vegetables?

...because its really hard to catch wild chini, so we buy the chini from the "zu"

Sneeze once. Gazuntite! Sneeze again... Gazuntwice!

Waitress: What would you like?

Me: I will have the French Dip. And can I get lots of that meat juice on the side? What is it called again?

Waitress: A jus.

Me: Gesundheit!

I tipped her well...

Victim: A shoe!

Me: Gesundheit!

I sneezed.

My boyfriend: Gesundheit!

Nanny: Not anymore.

Me: Wha-?

Nanny: Goes in loose now.

Mom: "I think they have beef a jus over there."

Dad: "Gesundheit!"

Sneeze

Goesintight (sounds like gesundheit), comes out easy.

... My dad had a lot of dirty jokes that I only now understand.