I thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gees song.
But it was just a chive talking.
I thought I heard the Bee Gees singing in my herb garden...
But it was just the chives talkin'
Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said "Gee it's hot in here"
The other one shouted "Wow, a talking muffin"
Gee, what dog almost was a pun?
“Son, I found a condom in your room.” “Gee thanks, Grandpa!”
“Why are you calling me Grandpa?”
“Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”
Today a coworker said, "Yeah, there is only one living member of The Bee Gees left..."
Of course I seized the opportunity and said "I guess they aren't doing so great at Stayin' Alive"
I was met with a CSI style "YEAHHHH" and many giggles.
Too many dads at work. I love it.
"Gee, I've always wanted to see the Milky Way Galaxy-" "Um, I can't go to the Milky Way Galaxy... I'm lactose intolerant."
"Gee dad, that hamburger meat is pretty red..."
"Guess that's, irony, for ya"
Talking to my dad about the Bee Gees a few years ago...
Dad: This is the last one, they all died pretty young.
Me: I guess they're not good at Stayin' Alive
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
James Pond's - A View to a Krill
What do you call the fake shit you use to wash your hair?
Allow me to introduce myself
Why is the G in gnocchi silent?
Because a real G never snitches on his homies.
How does James Bond order his third martini?
Shaken and a little bit slurred
What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?
Kevin James and Peter Dinklage walk into a bar
One's a heavy drinker, the other's a little drunk
What do you call James Bond who tends to make situations inconvenient and difficult?
You know what music James Bond likes to listen to?
I gave my son a fresh fish for Christmas
I don't understand why he was so disappointed. He told me he wanted the new cod
Kevin James Franco in his best role yet!
Where can you buy used James Bond merch?
You can't spell glad without...
I saw 50 Cent making a sweater....
Why is St. James Gate so cold?
Because it's a bit draughty.
(Courtesy of my dad. Today. Because of my t shirt.)
I've started a boat building business in my attic...
...sails are going through the roof.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
what would James Bond have if he were a shopkeeper
I got a signed LeBron James jersey for my son.
“Son, I found a condom in your room.” “Gee thanks, Grandpa!”
“Why are you calling me Grandpa?”
“Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”
I saw 50 Cent making a sweater
I saw 50 cent making a sweater. I said
U saw 50 Cent making a sweater.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?
Because, it would blow his cover.
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