Ernest Whitman Puns

1. 1984 by George Orwell
2. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
3. Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
4. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
5. All the President’s Men by Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward
6. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
7. An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
8. And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie
9. Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
10. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
11. The Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
12. The Armies of the Night: History as a Novel, the Novel as a History by Norman Mailer
13. The Art of Fiction by Henry James
14. The Art of Living by Epictetus
15. The Art of War by Sun Tzu
16. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
17. Atonement by Ian McEwan
18. Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
19. The Awakening by Kate Chopin
20. Babe by Dick King-Smith
21. Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
22. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
23. Bambi: A Life in the Woods by Felix Salten
24. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
25. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
26. Beloved by Toni Morrison
27. Beowulf by Anonymous
28. The Bhagavad Gita by Anonymous
29. The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1200 Jews by Peter Duffy
30. Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
31. A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
32. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
33. Brick Lane by Monica Ali
34. Brigadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
35. [Candide](https://amzn.to/34jc

1. Descartes - The Principles of Philosophy
2. Marie de France - The Lais
3. Bertrand Russell - Why I am not a Christian, and Other Essays
4. Richard Wright - Native Son
5. Martin Heidegger - History of the Concept of Time
6. Martin Heidegger - Being and Time
7. William Shakespeare - Collected Sonnets and Poems*
8. Randall Jarrell - Pictures From an Institution
9. Italo Calvino - If On a Winter’s Night a Traveler…*
10. Ralph Ellison - Invisible Man
11. James Baldwin - Notes of a Native Son
12. Ovid - Metamorphoses
13. Camille Paglia - Break, Blow, Burn*
14. Stephen Fry - The Ode Less Travelled
15. Nathaniel Hawthorne - The Scarlet Letter*
16. Walt Whitman - Leaves of Grass
17. Emily Dickinson - The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (ed. By Thomas H. Johnson)
18. T.S. Eliot - ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’*, ‘The Hollow Men’, ‘The Waste Land’
19. Gertrude Stein - Tender Buttons*, ‘Composition as Explanation’
20. Ernest Hemingway - The Sun Also Rises
21. Iain Thomson - Heidegger, Art, and Postmodernity
22. William Faulkner - The Sound and the Fury*
23. Francois Lyotard - The Postmodern Condition: A Report on Knowledge
24. Hart Crane - The Bridge
25. Edna St. Vincent Millay - The Collected Poems*
26. William S. Burroughs - Junky
27. Toni Morrison - The Bluest Eye
28. Richard Rorty - Contingency, Irony, and Solidarity
29. Lawrence Ferlinghetti - Pictures of the Gone World
30. John Kennedy Toole - A Confederacy of Dunces*
31. Thomas Pynchon - The Crying of Lot 49
32. Ed. by D.A. Russell and Michael Winterbottom - Classical Literary Criticism (Oxford Press)
33. John Ashbery - Collected Poems: 1956-1987
34. Philip Roth - Portnoy’s Complaint*
35. Ed. by Hyman, Walsh, and Williams - Philosophy in the Middle Ages: The Christian, Islamic, and Jewish Traditions (3rd edition)
36. Joan Didion - The Year of Magical Thinking
37. J.D. Salinger - Fanny and Zooey
38. Aristophanes - The Clouds
39. Ishmael Reed - Mumbo Jumbo
40. Anonymous (Tr. by Helen Bacovin) - The Way of a Pilgrim
41. Translation by David Rosenberg; commentary by Harold Bloom; source material written by ‘J’ - The Book of J
42. Michel Foucault - “Society Must Be Defended”: Lectures 1975-1976
43. John Locke - Second Treatise of Government
44. Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
45. Sophocles - Oedipus at Colonus
46. Sophocles - Antigone
47. John Stuart Mill - On Liberty
48. Gilles Deleuze - *Essays, Clinical a

A total of 1090 users submitted valid votes and the average number of authors read per user is 45 authors (out of 197 authors). The median number of votes an author received is 195 votes (Alice Munro, voted by 17.9% of users).

The selection is not complete in any way, but what these writers have in common is that they are all highly acclaimed. That’s why it would be interesting to discuss why some of them are read more or less often than others.

e

Hi guys, so I came across u/CyrusNavarre's post about a Battle Royale between U.S. Senators here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/thecampaigntrail/comments/qmbrly/us_senate_battle_royale_announcement/

I thought it was a great idea, so I compiled a list of all of the most popular or distinguished politicians in every state. I limited myself to 4 of each person. For politicians whose roles were unknown, I just chose those who had been Senate Majority/Minority Leader for a decent amount of time or had a great amount of time in the Senate. Without further ado:

Fictional Senate Races

Alabama

George Wallace (D) vs John Sparkman (D) vs William R. King (D) vs Oscar Underwood (D)

Jeff Sessions (R) vs Condoleezza Rice (R) vs Richard Shelby (R) vs Tommy Tuberville (R)

Alaska

William A. Egan (D) vs Tony Knowles (D) vs Mike Gravel (D) vs Ernest Gruening (D)

Sarah Palin (R) vs Lisa Murkowski (R) vs Frank Murkowski (R) vs Sean Parnell (R)

Arizona

Mo Udall (D) vs Krysten Sinema (D) vs Ernest McFarland (D) vs Bruce Babbitt (D)

Barry Goldwater (R) vs John McCain (R) vs Evan Mecham (R) vs John Kyl (R)

Arkansas

Bill Clinton (D) vs Orval Faubus (D) vs Joseph Robinson (D) vs Wesley Clark (D)

Mike Huckabee (R) vs Tom Cotton (R) vs Winthrop Rockefeller (R) vs Asa Hutchison (R)

California

Pat Brown (D) vs Jerry Brown (D) vs Barbara Boxer (D) vs Kamala Harris (D)

Richard Nixon (R) vs Ronald Reagan (R) vs Earl Warren (R) vs John Fremont (R)

Colorado

Gary Hart (D) vs John Hickenlooper (D) vs Mark Udall (D) vs Richard Lamm (D)

Henry M. Teller (R) vs Bill Owens (R) vs John Arthur Love (R) vs Gordon Allott (R)

Connecticut

Joe Liebermann (D) vs Abraham Ribicoff (D) vs Chris Dodd (D) vs Thomas Dodd (D)

Prescott Bush (R) vs Lowell Weicker (R) vs William A. Purtell (R) vs Raymond E. Baldwin (R)

Delaware

Joe Biden (D) vs James A. Bayard Jr (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard Jr (D)

Pete Du Pont (R) vs J. Caleb Boggs (R) vs John J. Williams (R) vs William Roth (R)

Florida

Reubin Askew (D) vs Bob Graham (D) vs George Smathers (D) vs Claude Pepper (D)

Rick Scott (R) vs Marco Rubio (R) vs Jeb Bush (R) vs Ron DeSantis (R)

Georgia

Jimmy Carter (D) vs Stacey Abrams (D) vs Sam Nunn (D) vs Richard Russell Jr (D)

Brian Kemp (R) vs David Perdue (R) vs Sonny Perdue (R) vs Newt Gingrich (R)

Hawaii

Daniel Inouye (D) vs Tulsi Gabbard (D) vs Spark

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I know the current leading theory suggests that George Gershwin could be the Rhapsodic man, but after coming across the information below I am wondering if Ernest Bloch could be a better fit. Perhaps his name is inscribed somewhere near treasure grounds... Please let me know your thoughts!

I began by running a .png image translation program on the Japanese version of the book. I got the clues below from the rhapsodic man section.

https://preview.redd.it/78f2be301no71.png?width=939&format=png&auto=webp&s=340166bcc98ffff98b6875821326b75b89960a22

After I saw this I did some googling with the inclusion of "Epic Man" and came across a 3 volume (in 3 vols?) "Epic" rhapsody written by Ernest Bloch. Each part of the rhapsody chronicles a different part of the immigration process to America. The first part is called, The Soil (rhapsodic man's soil?)

https://preview.redd.it/fqhb18j12no71.png?width=566&format=png&auto=webp&s=7264bc4d748b86f26f557ee4ae0e59a13ed32d22

Ernest Bloch's background also fits someone who Byron might be aware of. You can do your own research below, but Bloch had heavy Jewish ties in New York much like Byron Preiss. He also focused on using music to speak about immigration and wrote his Epic Rhapsody in memory of his inspiration Walt Whitman.

http://www.ernestbloch.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/ErnestBlochBookCover_7-18-1.pdf

The Whitman connection could have relevance based on the article below - Preiss says in the Japanese version that the writer who is being referenced in the 3 Vols verse has to do with "Start at chicken". If he is referring to Whitman's chicken and egg essay, then there is a potential link between the 2 figures being referenced.

https://www.bartleby.com/essay/Analysis-Of-Walt-Whitman-s-What-Came-PKLE6TKRZKW

Bloch also went to Central Park every day.

https://preview.redd.it/ojw3w6224no71.png?width=340&format=png&auto=webp&s=485b64aa0dd02c949ac697a1eb64c6ebb9ed18ba

I've searched around New York for landmarks that could be clues, but from what I can tell he doesn't have any statues, parks, etc dedicated to him in New York. If someone finds one of these places, please let me know!

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Joseph James Bruno; 1934 Kelaryas Massacre

October 21, 1881 - July 10, 1951

Philip Bruno; 1934 Kelaryas Massacre

November 18, 1886 - January 10, 1956

Howard Barton Unruh; 1949 Camden Shooting

January 21, 1921 - October 19, 2009

Clarence V. Bertucci; 1945 Utah POW Massacre

September 14, 1921 - December 1969

Ernest "Ernie" Ingenito; 1950 Mazzoli Family Murders

May 27, 1924 - October 7, 1995

Carl Robert Brown; 1982 Bob Moore's Welding Shop Shooting

November 26, 1930 - August 20, 1982

James Urban Ruppert; 1975 Easter Sunday Massacre

April 12, 1934 -

Alvin Lee King III; 1980 Daingerfield Church Shooting

December 23, 1935 - January 19, 1982

Gian Luigi Ferri; 1993 101 California Street Shooting

December 29, 1937 - July 1, 1993

Donald Martin Lambright (Donald Martin Perry); 1969 Pennsylvania Turnpike Shooting

May 21, 1938 - April 5, 1969

Charles Joseph Whitman; 1966 University of Texas Tower Shooting

June 24, 1941 - August 1, 1966

Patrick Henry Sherrill; 1986 Edmond Post Office Shooting

November 13, 1941 - August 20, 1986

Joseph Thomas Wesbecker; 1989 Standard Gravure Shooting

April 27, 1942 - September 14, 1989

George Emil Banks; 1982 Wilkes-Barre Shootings

June 22, 1942 -

James Oliver Huberty; 1984 San Ysidro McDonald's Shooting

October 11, 1942 - July 18, 1984

Robert Benjamin Smith; 1966 Rose-Mar College of Beauty Shooting

Febuary 10, 1948 -

James Edward "Pop" Pough; 1990 GMAC Car Loan Office Shooting

Febuary 16, 1948 - June 22, 1990

William Ray Bonner; 1973 Los Angeles Shooting Spree

March 28, 1948 -

Michael Andrew Clark; 1965 Highway 101 Sniper Attack

June 24, 1948 - April 25, 1965

Richard Wade Farley; 1988 ESL Shooting

July 25, 1948 -

Mark James Robert Essex; 1972-1973 New Orleans Shootings

August 12, 1949 - January 7, 1973

Lynwood Crumpler Drake III; 1992 San Luis Obispo County Shootings

October 10, 1949 - November 8, 1992

Jim David Adkisson; 2008 Knoxville Unitarian Universalist Church Shooting

June 25, 1950 -

William Russell Matix; 1986 FBI Miami Shootout

June 25, 1951 - April 11, 1986

Ronald Joseph "Butch" DeFeo Jr.; 1974 Amityville Massacre

September 26, 1951 - March 12, 2021

Larry Gene Ashbrook; 1999 Wedgwood Baptist Church Shooting

July 10, 1952 - September 15, 1999

Stephen Craig Paddock; 2017 Las Vegas Shooting

April 9, 1953 - October 1, 2017

Gregory Paul Ulrich; 2021 Allina Health Care Clinic Shooting

July 19, 1953 -

Michael Lee Pla

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

(the list is from thegreatestbooks.org)