My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?

Twice dragons.

Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use β€œWreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyouβ€˜s for the kind words and awards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jruff84
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A lad asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled L.S.D.?"

Granny replied, "Never mind the pills. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer?

One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What did one Dragon slayer say to the other Dragon slayer?

"Guess what?"

"Dragon butt"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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You think musical wizards are weird?

Imagine dragons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxJettNotJeffxX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Never get into a conversation with a flying reptile

Their conversations always dragon for way too long

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pusilli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Why are dragons the worse story tellers?

Because they dragon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornyaustinite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep hearing Mission Control check in with Dragon Crew, asking "How do you read, over."

And I just KNOW if I were up there I would be physically unable to keep myself from responding "Dragon to Mission Control, I read with my eyes, over." I wonder how many times before they airlock me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Need ideas

Hi everyone! I need some dad jokes involving ghosts and poker for a dungeons and dragons campaign I'm doing. Thanks in advance to all you that have some!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoingMacaroon22
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Pun Request!!!

Hey all! I'm writing a play for my third grade class all about healthy habits and it's full of TV parodies. One show is Game of Thrones. For example, one character is Jon Snowpea. Can you guys help me come up with some food or exercise puns for the full title of Danaerys: Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name,Β The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms,Β Breaker of ChainsΒ andΒ Mother of Dragons”. Thanks!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllieBallie22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If you’re excited for the Dungeons in D&D...

Imagine Dragons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fabled_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?

They start by dragon it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleB_127
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Dads on Dungeons and Dragons

Dad: I see you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, is your character a dwarf?

Me: I'm playing a Gnome dad... we've been over this

Dad: I'm sorry - I must not be familiar with the... Gnomenclature

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrYogurt1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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[Request] pubs involving medieval terms

Hey all. I work at a place that sells medieval and Renaissance themed clothing, weapons, and armour. We are beginning to sell snacks in the breakroom for employees (sans vending machine) and I want to call the "shop" something silly/ridiculous. Ye Olde Snack Shack just won't cut it, I want a good pun in there. Don't hesitate to use fantasy inspired ideas either. I wanted to go with The Dragon's Hoard, but would rather have something funny as well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magic_vs_science
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My pun compulsion continues...

Friend: I had a dream about a dragon last night. Its name was Fire Fawcett.

Me: It's too bad its name wasn't Uther, since it was a PUNdragon.

Friend: ...

Me: *bows*

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yethica
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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You think Scorpions are killing it?

Imagine dragons

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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Got my son on this one yesterday. He was listening to imagine dragons.

Me: Do they ever play this band on the radio? son: of course its imagine dragons. me: so they are active on the radio? son: looks at me for a second, oh jeez me: so they are radio-active!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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Back in medieval times, they used to make computer mice out of the poop of giant flame breathing reptiles...

...surely you've heard of the "dragon drop" interface.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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I had abstinence only sex education when I was in high school.

It was called Dungeons and Dragons.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
(want to annoy coworkers on a slow day?) "Hey, can you call a wizard or a knight in shining armor?"

[cue confused looks]

"Because, today is a draggin'!" (dragon)

[cue "I hate you" looks and/or painful eye-roll]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I've invented a device called 'The Baseball'.

I'm thinking of pitching it on Dragon's Den.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVilborg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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No I cannot imagine

I heard on the radio a few days ago:

Imagine dragons will be performing in Las Vegas on New Years Eve!

Cant you IMAGINE

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4our_of_DiAmoNds
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
A simple spelling mistake brings out the best of Reddit.

Ah - the good ol' Mazda meowta

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9sgqbx/car_vs_dragons/e8oni93?utm_source=reddit-android

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PJozi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I slept like an Anime character

Because this morning I’m Dragon Ball Z

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rearview_Mirror
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s worse than an insult from a leprechaun?

A burn from a dragon!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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What do you call an alcoholic dragon?

A BEER-ded dragon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/congratulaated
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What reptile spends the most time in the bathroom?

A Commode-o dragon.

Crosspost from r/jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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Funny name for a Rat character in D&D?

I made a rat character who managed to lose his name, and now I have to find a new one. I was hoping /r/puns could help me make my DM facepalm.

Helpful information: Is aquatic (half-fish) Stole the core out of a water elemental once. Accidentally killed a dragon. Original alias: Mega Rat.

I know there's a joke in here somewhere, I just can't find it. Thanks for any help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markdeedavis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Finally pulled one on my wife I thought I might share...

Wife to son: Why are the dragons driving the fire truck?

Me: Job security.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belinck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A Dungeons and Dragons Dad Joke

Once I talked my dad into playing Dungeons and Dragons with me and my friends. We were looking over his character sheet before the game when he noticed "Darkvision 60 ft." He asked me what that meant.

I said, "It means you can see 60 feet in the dark."

"But only if there are 30 people."

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Traikan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2013
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Dad and I were picking out beer at the store...

I suggest New Holland's Dragon's Milk.

"You know how they make that beer?" he asks.

"No, how?"

"Buncha short-legged cows."

"What?"

"Draggin' milk."

At the check-out he's still laughing to himself and making comments about being "utterly" hilarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thrasymachuspp1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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Why do people in Skyrim use dragons for measurement?

Because they have scales

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrishaCZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Flame wars and Trolls

I have come to the conclusion that the reason for trolls causing flame wars is a direct result of Dungeons and Dragons.

See, in dungeons and Dragons, the only way to kill a troll is with fire and acid. So when a troll enters a forum thread, the flame war that erupts is an attempt to kill the troll with fire.

I suppose an acid war could also erupt, but those who would use acid seem too stoned to care.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
🚨︎ report
I've got a few books you guys might like to read

~100 Yards to the Outhouse, the True Story of Willy Maket by Betty Dont

~One Legged Woman by Eileen Offtin

~The Yellow River by I.P. Freely

~Stripper Bliss by Ivana Taketoff

~Lines in the Sand by Dick Dragon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steller24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
My son got me while I was scanning a sketch he drew of a dragon.

While Photoshopping a scan of a dragon he drew in pencil, I stated I was going to convert it to grayscale. His response?

"Can we convert it to red scales, instead?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my Daughter with this...

She was playing a facebook game that involves evolving and leveling up dragons and complained that she wasn't getting a good score.

Me: "Maybe you need to train your dragon..." Daughter: "How do I Train my dragons?" Me: "There's a movie all about it on Netflix" Daughter: <....Disgusted>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmmccann
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Geriatric Irish reptile toilet?

Commode O'dragon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Our Waitor set food down for everyone at the table except for my friend, he looked at him and said "sorry sir, your food is draggin".

My friend replied, " I ordered a burger not a dragon."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironheart777
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2016
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think Dinosaurs are hard to fight?

Imagine Dragons.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeOscar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
You think birds are scary?

Imagine Dragons.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PH4nTo8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do people pay money to see Imagine dragons

When all you have to do is imagine dragons for free

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssj3dvp11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Slow day

This day is like a medieval movie... it’s really dragon. πŸ‰πŸ²

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danterhan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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