After a hard night of drinking, I was awoken this morning at 7:00 AM by my neighbor mowing his lawn.
I was going to confront him on it, but then I thought, screw it. He can mow around me,
I got a call today asking survey questions about guns.
It was from the Pew Pew Research Center.
This guy knocked me to the ground and poured soy sauce all over me
I was like "come on, don't Kikkoman when he's down"
My daughter asked me why there are a lot of soaps that smell like lavender. I said "It's just a popular smell that a lot of people like, like sweet orange, lemongrass and rosemary." She paused and then nodded and replied:
"Yes, that seems like common scents."
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020
Because they had a fight and 2021
How Long is a Chinese name.
Did I ever tell you how I dodged the draft?
All I had to do was close the window
I don't care about how cold the temperature is!!
It's -273Β°C and I'm giving absolute zero fuks.
There's a guy I work with who lost all his teeth and refuses to stop talking...
I asked him today "why don't you ever shut up?" He responded "I find it hard to bite my tongue"
Learn Chinese in 5 min
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
- Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
- Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
- See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
- Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
- Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
- Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
- I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
- I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
- It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
- I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
- This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
- staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
- He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
- Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
- Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
