Frïs Vodka Puns

I was on my way to pick up some vodka for entertaining (read: cheap) when my local store had a display up for some Frïs Vodka. The store clerk recommended it to me, saying he'd heard good things. I picked up the 1.75L bottle at about $21 (I already said cheap? Good.)

Frïs (Frisvodka.com) is a grain vodka, freeze distilled 6 times in Denmark. I'm less keen on mixers for my vodka, so I had it 3 different ways: room temperature, chilled directly with ice and strained, and from the freezer.

Room Temperature Frïs exhibits a pretty heavy rubbing alcohol flavor that makes it somewhat unpleasant to have at room temperature. While not terrible, I'm sure the flavor would come through even the strongest of mixers. It's got less of a bite and more of a chomp.

Chilled With Ice True to Japanese traditions, occasionally enjoy a drink mashed with ice before serving. Mixed with the bit of extra water and chilled, Frïs becomes quite pleasant, giving off a slight fruity aroma, but with a bit of a chemical smell. It's unfortunate, but by no means very unpleasant. The bite present in the room temperature is nearly completely removed by the extra filtered water and temperature.

From the Freezer Quite good, and becoming nearly completely tasteless, the almost chemical smell returns as a slight aftertaste, however, the drink fills your mouth with a quite exceptionally smooth texture.

Overall; I think I'll feel quite solid serving this to my guests so I can save my good stuff for myself. At this price, to get a vodka that doesn't make you want to cry is pretty good, that's why I'd give it a solid 7/10.

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

It really does, I swear!

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

Because his Visa didn’t work.

free

Because the audience only responds in a low ha

A happy Uncle.....

"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"

I’d never seen him be 4.

Ice-olation.

She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭

"No, it doesn't."