Jason smiled as the shuttle screamed out into the open sky.
“Well, relatively open,” he murmured to himself as he stared at the stormy clouds above.
Maybel paused in her open-mouthed staring to turn back to him. “You say something?”
“Nothing worth mentioning.” He shook his head, only to grunt as a sudden gust of wind had the craft leaning to the left. Shifting the flight stick, he soon had the shuttle leveled out, though it wasn’t long at all before he was compensating in the opposite direction.
The stormy open skies of Raknos-Three were fun like that.
Though it still beats scraping paint across cave walls, he thought, before glancing up at the storm clouds above. Though how long I’ll be able to maintain that opinion remains to be seen.
After all, the complete lack of aerospace craft in the planet’s atmosphere had not come about as a result of a lack of desire for aerial superiority on the Imperium’s part. No, the reason no one flew anything ‘in-atmosphere’ was because doing so was considered borderline suicidal – what with the wind, rain, lightning and occasional absurdly tall mountain.
As if to punctuate his thoughts, a massive bolt of lightning streaked across the skies above him. Which he could only barely make out through the rain that was even now occluding his external cameras – despite said camera’s wipers best attempts to alleviate it. Between that and the ionization in the air obstructing his sensors, he was effectively flying blind.
How fortunate for him, he needed only to go up - into a storm so large it would have quite effectively covered a good chunk of the North American continent.
“Jason…”
He looked over to see that Maybel had gotten over her awe at being the very first Ufrian to fly and was now staring through the murky windscreen up at the foreboding sky above them with an expression that pretty well mirrored how he felt.
“…are you sure this is a good idea?”
Jason glanced down at the many yellow lights that lit up his dashboard. Everyone of which could have independently told him that what he was about to attempt was a very bad idea. Hell, even if they were all blue, this would have been a bad idea.
“Sure,” he said, trying to put a brave face on it. For Maybel’s sake if nothing else. “This’ll be a piece of cake.”
The alien cocked her head to the side. “Cake?”
Jason pulled up on the stick, feeling the subtle sensation of acceleration even through the anti-grav as he angled up towards the storm.
“When we make it out of
... keep reading on reddit ➡| Philadelphia Eagles (9-8) at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers(11-6) |
|---|
| The Eagles defied the odds and clinched a playoff spot in week 17 when they completed their sweep of the Washington “Who cares what they are called”. The Eagles took care of business down the stretch knocking off a number of lowly teams to get to 9 wins and be able to rest key starters in week 18. They set up a meeting with their old friend Tom Brady and his Buccaneers down in Tampa for Wildcard Weekend. The Bucs easily took care of the Panthers in week 18 to secure the number two seed. While the game will be down in the Sunshine State, the weather looks to be anything, but sunny. The weather forecast is calling for rain and wind gusts between 20-30 mph which could favor the Eagles and their top ranked rush offense. But running against the Bucs big DL will be no easy task. Vita Vea has a huge size advantage over Kelce who he will most likely be lining up over in a 0 technique and while Ndamukong Suh is not the All-Pro he once was he is still a big body that can clog up the run game. If the Bucs sell out to stop the run it could be on Hurts to try to win it with his arm which could be difficult, especially with the weather. The Bucs have two guys they can match up on Goedert in Antoine Winfield Jr. and Lavonte David and they will get some pass rush help back with the return of JPP. Hurts will need to rely on his young WRs more to get open and quick. On the other side, Brady beat the Eagles with quick short throws earlier this season in a game where he was without Gronk, but while Gronk is back Brady has lost one of his favorite WRs Chris Godwin to an ACL tear and lost Antonio Brown to being crazy and probably running on the side of the road shirtless somewhere. With limited weapons the Eagles need to shutdown Evans with Slay and bracket Gronk. Playing tight with the predicted weather should help the Eagles slow down the Bucs passing attack, but they will still need to worry about the run game and Leonard Fournette who had two TDs against them in week 6. Should be an interesting matchup in the rain and the Eagles will make it really interesting if they can win the battle in the trenches. Go Birds! |
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... keep reading on reddit ➡“CIRCLE OF DEATH!”
Keira spun her greatsword in a wide arc, cleaving through both the Blightspawn in front of her and the one that had been attempting to sneak up from behind. Her blade split open mutated flesh like it was a knife cutting hot butter, scoring deep lines across the Blightspawn’s torsos that wept gray blood. Keira didn’t bother feeling triumphant – considering how effective the abominations’ regeneration was, those wounds were barely worth the 50 MP she’d spent to inflict them.
Knocking both creatures away from her, thereby giving her a much-needed moment to focus on one? Now that was worth 50 MP.
“POWER SLASH!” Keira slammed her beloved partner down onto the first Blightspawn’s back, piercing through its body and into the ground. The beast, a crocodile-thing with two heads and serrated skin, writhed frantically as it struggled in vain to escape from the slab of steel that was pinning it in place. As the second Blightspawn rallied to its friend’s aid, claws outstretched towards Keira's unprotected back, Keira used the momentum of her swing to vault herself straight over the first Blightspawn and land behind its tail. With both creatures taken off guard, and one heavily injured, Keira ripped her greatsword out of the crocodile-thing’s back and beat the everloving shit out of it until it stopped moving.
Reached Level 41!
5 Stat Points Gained!
Warrior Level Increased! 37 → 38
4 Points in Strength, 1 in Vitality. For once, her allocation choice wasn’t based solely on her personal preferences – raw power was the key to killing monstrosities that were fueled by Blight-born vitality. The remaining Blightspawn warbled in outrage as it spewed fire, breathing gusts of flame out from compressed sacks of air embedded within its skin. Danger Sense guided Keira’s steps as she jumped to the side well before its attack reached her. She eyed her MP, currently sitting at 150, and decided: fuck it.
“SPEAR OF STEEL!” Keira launched her greatsword like a javelin, crushing the Blightspawn’s head into a gooey red paste. She rushed forward as the blade reappeared back in her hand, preparing a follow-up attack to prevent the beast from regaining its footing.
Then Meyneth tore its spine out.
Keira skidded to a halt. She stared at the Dragonkin in utter bafflement, her posture frozen in the middle of executing a sword strike. Meyneth definitely hadn’t been there a moment ago. Yet there she was, tearing the Blightspawn to shreds as she bellowe
... keep reading on reddit ➡I'm going to proceed assuming you need little encouragement to believe Denna's patron is the white-haired, black-eyed, winter chilling, light reflecting, and sword wielding Chandrian named Ferul(e/a). To quickly, recap why it's because Cinder, like Denna's patron, would be interested in Lanre's backstory, would have the knowledge to know where the seven were going to strike, as well as the perverse sense of cruelty to delight in hitting Denna when he very well could find a better way. On top of that Kvothe nearly names him outright:
> “Just tell me when I hit one you like ... Federick the Flippant. Frank. Feran. Forue. Fordale....”
> She shook her head at me as we climbed the crest of the hill. As we finally reached the top, the wind gusted past us. Denna gripped my arm for balance and I held up a hand to shield my eyes from dust and leaves. I coughed in surprise as the wind forced a leaf straight into my mouth, causing me to choke and splutter.
> Denna thought this was particularly funny “Fine,” I said, as I fished the leaf out of my mouth. It was yellow, shaped like a spearhead. “The wind has decided for us. Master Ash.”
If you can weave a story about how its' someone else, Bredon or other, that's great. But I'm not focusing on that here, rather, I want to focus on something more subtle. The discussion that comes after kvothe picks a name for her mysterious benefactor.
> “Are you sure it isn’t Master Elm?” she asked, eyeing the leaf. “It’s a common mistake.”
> “Tastes like an ash,” I said. “Besides, elm is feminine.”
> She nodded seriously, though her eyes were dancing. “Ash it is then.”
I'll speak plainly, Kvothe is wrong in that an Ash leaf flew into his mouth. Take a moment to google ash leafs and you will start to see why. An Ash leaf, is made up of 7 to 11 leaflet. An ash leaf falling onto your mouth would be quite the feat both in terms of mouth extension and wind force. They look like tiny branches with lots of leafs on them, which we call them leaflets. Now at this point, your free to believe Pat didn't know this, or Kvothe didn't, or in this world Ash trees have different leaves. The reason these are satisfying answers to me, is because Denna calls it out.
> “Are you sure it isn’t Master Elm?” she asked, eyeing the leaf. “It’s a common mistake.”
return to the same picture and look at the elm leaf, the ash leaflets do loo
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Hi all, long time spike first time poster finally with a deck worth sharing. I pushed my version of Dimir Control all the way to #1 Mythic (proof) and decided to let the secret out. I think as an archetype it's being slept on and control players are mostly flocking to Azorius and Jeskai Lotus decks.
The Deck
Deck
1 Commit /// Memory (AKR) 54
1 Field of Ruin (XLN) 254
4 Fetid Pools (AKR) 293
4 Clearwater Pathway (ZNR) 260
4 Archmage's Charm (MH1) 40
2 Shipwreck Marsh (MID) 267
1 God-Eternal Kefnet (WAR) 53
1 Ashiok, Nightmare Muse (THB) 208
1 Search for Azcanta (XLN) 74
1 Castle Locthwain (ELD) 241
4 Narset, Parter of Veils (WAR) 61
3 Fatal Push (KLR) 84
4 Watery Grave (GRN) 259
3 Drown in the Loch (ELD) 188
2 Svyelun of Sea and Sky (MH2) 69
4 Yahenni's Expertise (KLR) 112
4 Shark Typhoon (IKO) 67
3 Island (MIR) 336
1 Castle Vantress (ELD) 242
2 Hall of Storm Giants (AFR) 257
2 Drowned Catacomb (XLN) 253
1 Swamp (MIR) 340
1 Hive of the Eye Tyrant (AFR) 258
1 Cling to Dust (THB) 87
1 Bloodchief's Thirst (ZNR) 94
4 Thoughtseize (AKR) 127
Sideboard
2 Aether Gust (M20) 42
1 Negate (RIX) 44
4 Mystical Dispute (ELD) 58
1 Noxious Grasp (M20) 110
1 Grafdigger's Cage (M20) 227
1 The Meathook Massacre (MID) 112
1 Cling to Dust (THB) 87
2 Thief of Sanity (GRN) 205
1 Doom Blade (STA) 28
1 Shadows' Verdict (ZNR) 124
This is the list I settled on and did most of my climb on. Here's my untapped for some proof of my stats.
The deck has had some insane winrates (over 80%) and streaks (21 games in high mythic) and has consistent game against almost every deck in the format. Most of my games were against Selesnya lifegain/humans, Lotus Control, Izzet Phoenix, and Niv Control; all of which felt highly favoured.
Gruul is a bad matchup, but it doesn't seem to be in the meta too much lately. At least one of my losses against Gruul were to misplaying against Embercleave because I forgot that's a thing to play around. Might have even been two losses, but the matchup is even at best I'd say. The only popular meta deck which is a bad matchup
... keep reading on reddit ➡Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
