why is life hard for the kittens who make the most adorable noises
they are subject to constant purr-so-cuteion
The life of a Family Photographer isn't for me.
Every Day I shoot people, I frame them, and hang them
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.
I just heard an announcement on a loud speaker outside my home saying, "If you invest 50$ just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".
I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.
Don't blame others for the road you're on in life.
Why did the man get sent back to his home country for following his high school girlfriends life rules?
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.
You could say it's a choronic disease.
For religious people, life is a pray-to-win game.
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:
On his deathbed, my grandfather said, “Remember these two words. It’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
A pun for the desi people out there. [When did life become OYO from Yo! We’ll never know.]
Why did the man work in a barn for hus whole life?
Because is was a stable career
My english teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What's the name of the largest cell service provider for alien life forms?
I spent my whole life searching for an ocean of soda
It turned out to be a Fanta sea
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
I was hanging on to the cliff face for dear life.
“Don’t look down!” said my friend above me.
So I started smiling.
Bilbo Baggins lived for 131 years and smoked all his life
I guess old hobbits die hard
I rolled a joint for the first time in my life.
The doctor says it’ll be a few weeks until I can use my ankle again.
Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?
The Doctor only gave him 4!...
I’m turning 50 soon and will tell people I’ve become part Roman for the rest of my life...
You know, because I’ll be a half century on...
Why is life terrible for a window?
I bet earth likes to make fun of other planets for having no life..
My Life has been nothing but a disaster and if Just One More Thing fails for me, I think it'll be time to call it Quits.
Hmm...my racehorses really do have some strange names.
I was once walking my dog along a promenade during a storm. I got chatting to a German tourist. While we were talking, my dog decided to go for a swim. It was clear he was struggling then he got dragged under. The German dived in, pulled him out and did cpr. The dog coughed then came back to life
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?"
"Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
When it comes to moving elsewhere for a better life,
For the life of me, I could not get the sweet tea dispenser to work during my lunch.
I was having some difficultea.
Today, I saw a squirrel poop for the first time in my life.
Certain seabirds mate for life. Because one good tern deserves another.
MOM: Look at all this work! I can't believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life!
DAD: Not really hon. After 70 you can pretend to be senile, and be a kid again.
There really isn’t a pun for lethal injections, I mean if you think about it, even if you do say anything, your life is still in vein...
I love peanuts... But it’s hard for a peanut to love you back when it’s been asalted all its life.
There are three unwritten rules for a better life:
I made an account called “half of all life” just for this pun
"I make the rules in this house, son. You're going to have to listen to me for the rest of your life."
"You mean for the rest of your life, dad."
A clock was running for its life
They say he was running out of time ( probably already used but I don’t bother to look for it )
Doctor told me I won't be able to talk for the rest of my life.
If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
On his deathbed, my grandfather said, “Remember these two words. It’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”
I just rolled a joint for the first time in my life.
The doctor says it’ll be a few weeks before I can use my ankle again.
I've dedicated my life to find the cure for insomnia.
I won't rest until I find it.
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
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