what do you call a flying pig?

A Pork Chopper

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BikerScowt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between politicians and flying pigs?

The letter f

πŸ‘︎ 274
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jerilishous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just driven past a field full of flying pigs, I asked the farmer what was going on and he said...

Swine Flew

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

πŸ‘︎ 128
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Columbus_Explorer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Shamelessly stolen from the "Flying Pigs" comedy troop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the man with the H1N1 Influenza Virus say when he saw a pig flying?

Swine Flew :D

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk80Boi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig ?

The F

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do Flying Pigs land?

At the Airpork.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarylInDurham
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Swine Flu is the closest we've gotten to flying pigs
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_pee_in_the_sink
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2017
🚨︎ report
When pigs fly…

Will they take off from airporks?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2022
🚨︎ report
They say when pigs fly...

Yet I saw some swine flu.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TickLikesBombs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2021
🚨︎ report
If pigs could fly, bacon would be leaner.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kathyeco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What if pigs could fly?

They could be employed to float aerial advertising banners, but they would likely be porcine carriers.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
You think pigs can’t fly??

Let me remind you: Just a few years ago, swine flu.

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
If we think something is ridiculous we like to say "I'll believe it when pigs fly"

But we all know swine flu

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My manager said I can have my leave when pigs fly

Well, swine flu

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I said I’d get sick when pigs fly. Sadly, the Swine Flu
πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jacksona_79
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
All the dad jokes that have made me laugh/breath out my nose since I had my firstborn at the start of 2021

Some of these are border-line uncle jokes. I'm also an uncle. I keep all these jokes in my dadabase. Aka Google notes.

Some of these I got off of podcasts, the dad joke API, some from movies, but most are from this sub. Let me know if you want a source for a joke or if one of them was yours I'll give credit.

It's ok to be Frank with people. Or josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.

What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck

If the USA is so great then why did they make USB?

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa. Which is strange.
You think he'd be from mad-at-gas-car

How did Jesus keep his abs? Crossfit

What does a Jewish cowboy celebrate Yee-Hanukka

What did the stamp say to the letter Stick with me and you'll go places

I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick She's still not talking to me

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it. Envelope βœ‰

Why do people on Athens hate getting up early Because dawn is tough on Grease

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain A purramid

Why do fish like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze

If april showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? PILGRIMS

Why do cemeteries have fences Because people are dying to get in

Did you know Bruce Lee had a Faster older brother? Sudden lee

Did you know he also had a Vegan brother? Broco lee

Pig black belt in karate Pork chop

How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in 3 cups of coffee If you have 20 sugar cubes? You have to use all the cubes.

You put 1 in the first cup, one in the second cup, and 18 in the last cup. Because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put on a cup of coffee.

I was going to tell your a joke about Yoga But it's Not working out

What do you do if your wife starts smoking Use some lubricant

did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds weird, dozen tit?

What did baby corn say to momma corn ( I got a boy scout selling popcorn to eyeroll me on this one) Where's popcorn

What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house? Fettuccine Afradio

What do you call a werewolf streamer? Liken subscribe

Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright? You can tell everybody this is your song.

My mom swears up and down cows arent real I was in udder disbelief

Skeleton goes into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet Because th

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krowvin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
🚨︎ report
There was once a horse living on a farm....

And he was a very talented guitarist, so good in fact that one day his friend the chicken turned to him and asked would he like to be in a band with him. The horse of course agreed he and the chicken who played the drums went looking for a singer and a bassist. They decided to approach the Sheep who was the best singer on the farm, the Sheep agreed and told them about how the Pig was a pretty good bass player so they all asked him to join the band and he agreed.

So The Barnyard Animals got to work practicing and rehearsing their little hearts out. They started playing open mic nights and gained some traction. After a few years they managed to get signed by a major record label and The Barnyard Animals became an international phenomenon. They toured in every country for the better part of a decade until they finally decided retire. The Horse decided to settle down in English countryside, the Chicken went to Australia, the Pig went to Japan and the Sheep went to New Zealand.

A few years later Gary Barlow contacts the Horse about getting The Barnyard Animals back together for a big charity Live Aid type concert in Wembley. The Horse contacts his band mates and they all agree. So the Pig, the Sheep and the Chicken all fly out to Singapore and get the same connection to London. But in a terrible turn of events the plane crashes and all The Barnyard Animals apart from the horse die in a fiery inferno.

The horse upon finding out that his oldest friends have all died goes into a deep depression. He locks himself in his house and tries to drink his pain away. A few weeks later when every bottle of anything that could be drank had been drunk. He puts on his hat and sunglasses so no one would be able to recognise him and heads to the closest pub. So the Horse walks into a bar and the barman says "Hey, why the long face?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Pigs

Person 1: I will marry you when pigs fly.

Me: Swine Flu...

(end up getting married to my bae...con)

Not a true story. Something from the pig-ment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jslee_beats0608
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard that scientist are trying to genetically engineer a pig to have wings.

It seems far fetched to me. I'll believe it when pigs fly

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fukurslf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The New Super Flu

Be safe everybody bird flu has merged with swine flu to create Flying pig flu.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reppingthe903
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig.

One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

πŸ‘︎ 522
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jspilot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig....?

The F.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If pigs could fly...

Would the price of bacon go up?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
If anyone ever tells you β€œwhen pigs fly”...

Remind them that swine flu.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mercnotforhire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My 7 yo son asked about my tattoo this morning.

Son: Dad, what are flying pigs actually called?

Me: I think they're just called flying pigs.

Son: No, it's a Pigasus!

Needless to say, I was very proud. Even my wife laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthRusty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Airlines always ask chicken or fish, when will they offer pork?

When pigs fly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mark5301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.