Curiosity killed the cat :(
Honey, Nut, Cheerio.
Wookie mistake.
A hamburghini
I told him that’s Ludacris.
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.
It was worth every penne.
"that's Ludacris."
Due to his history of multiple strokes.
My last four scores were seven years ago.
It's because they're on a hard drive.
I guess love means nothing to her.
Then I put tu and tu together.
But, it gets here too early in the morning.
He said. Many men bite, but fumanchu
Just search optimus prime
A fighter pirate
Wait nevermind that's just the drugs kicking in ;(
Boss: Is your car with the mechanic?
Me: Car?
Stake n shake!
(I'm not sure if this is a regional restaurant but I assure you it exists.)
After all, it spends its whole life reflecting
I'll call it Popeyedol.
I can't tolerate that level of epochrisy
They're always going "broom, broom."
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Hey son, wanna hear an animal pun
NO.
Whale then, bee it.
It speaks volumes!
One minute you’re yelling at them for driving you up a wall. The next, you’re begging them to install a Stair-master...
Chase them
Broom broom
We had a very platonic relationship
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
Hibearnation.
What a stupid thing to fallout 4
I really miss him, he was the coalest man I knew
Honey. Nut. Cheerio.
