A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky.

The husband says, it’s reindeer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sukebesama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2022
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I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.

She said, "It's reindeer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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What do you call vans falling from the sky?

Van Hailin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2021
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There were taxis falling from the sky

It was hailing cabs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TraditionSmashed
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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What kind of computed was used to make the theme for sky fall

A dell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imboredonthefloor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2023
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What do you call it if meat falls from the sky ?

A meatier shower

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fartbulous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
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What breed are the dogs that fall from the sky when it rains cats and dogs?

What breed are the dogs that fall from the sky when it rains cats and dogs?

Pomerainin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drawsouza
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2022
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You know when water falls from the sky it’s called precipitation, so what do you call it when water is excited?

Anticipation

(I made this up on the spot and it got a chuckle out of my dad haha so it’s already β€œdad approved”)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue_WhaleLord
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2021
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I bet the steaks are high there...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillRbrts
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2022
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What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?

Meatier showers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Travis-Tarbox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago:

Why are bacteria so bad at math?Because they multiply by dividing.RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2022
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When do monkeys fall from the sky?

During ape-ril showers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OCR9
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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If someone falls out of the sky, and lands on a church...

They would be inspired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chikyuu_ondanka
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Far away there is a purple country

In this purple country everything is purple; the skies are purple, the sun is purple, the citizens are purple. Everything is purple. And one day, some purple citizens decided that they didn't want to live under the purple king so they tried to leave the purple country. But the purple king stopped them and imprisoned them in his purple jail, and there they stayed for many purple days

However, one day, a purple messenger came to tell the purple king on his purple throne in his purple palace that the purple prisoners had escaped from the purple prison. And so, the purple king got on his purple horse along with his 100 purple knights to travel across the purple country to bring back the purple prisoners.

Meanwhile, the purple prisoners had begun running across the purple country to try and escape the purple tyranny of the purple king. They traveled across the vast purple plain, and everything was fine, but they had now reached the purple dessert. With no other choice they started the arduous journey under the blistering purple sun. Many purple prisoners died from purple heat stroke or got bitten by poisonous purple snakes, but after all is said and done, the majority of them made it across alive. But by this point, the purple king with his purple knights had reached the start of the purple dessert. They too crossed with many dying from purple heat stroke or purple snakes.

However, the purple prisoners were now crossing the purple mountains. Many died from the purple cold or got killed by purple rocks falling down the purple mountain side. But they made it across with still 50% of the starting escapees. But the purple king was crossing now, his purple knights dying from purple cold and purple rocks. They were close to the purple prisoners now. They reached the far side, but the purple prisoners had entered the purple jungle. They were so hungry many took to eating purple berries, only to find out that they contained purple poison and they died instantly. The purple creatures began attacking the purple prisoners and many died from that. And to make matters worse, the purple knights, who also had been attacked by the purple creatures and ate the purple poisonous berries, had caught up with them.

Back they went through the purple jungle, being attacked by the purple animals. Back they went over the purple mountains suffering from purple cold and being hit by purple rocks. Back they went over the purple dessert with the poisonous purple snakes and the scorchin

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savage_Oppress
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2022
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Icarus and Daedalus, after building wings of wax and feathers, took to the skies...

Icarus and Daedalus, after building wings of wax and feathers, took to the skies to escape the labyrinth of the Minoans. But, as the story goes, Icarus flew too close to the sun, and his wings melted.

As he dropped from the sky, Icarus said what any sane mortal would: "Help, I'm falling!"

Daedalus turned to his son, and before he could catch him, he uttered "Nice to meet you falling. I'm Dad-alus."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/annikaastra
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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The Rock is meaty

But when he falls from the sky he's meatier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Talking to my dad about hail...

Me: "Hail is scary, it falls so fast it can seriously harm you or kill you."

Dad: "Yeah, but there's a way to protect yourself from it. You just look up at the sky and yell 'OH HAIL NO'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enbentz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
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