A list of puns related to "F test"
Rippit
I said, “Do you like avocado?”
She said, “No, I aven’t even passed me driving test yet”
Doctor: I'm afraid you've tested positive for herpes.
Patient: I knew that one of these days I'd end up with a fungal infection.
Doctor: Actually, it's viral.
Patient: Yeah, but I got it from a fun gal.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 2 : takes litmus paper and dips it into the glass
Chemist 1 : You don’t trust me?
Chemist 2 : It was just a lye detector test.
How do you know if a man is ticklish? Just take 1 test-tickle.
I get being anti-homework but how can you be pro-tests?
You’ll never pass the Touring Test ...
Nobody nose.
Also my boyfriend came up with this and I feel like this is so good I need to go take a pregnancy test to see if he’s about to be a dad.
A warning to be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and the police are out there checking on people. Tonight, I was at a friend's house for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many Jack Daniels and then went onto the Bailey's. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at my friend's house, and took the bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint at the top of the road where they were pulling over cars and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was on the bus, they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I’m not even sure where I got it from...
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
Now I call the other one Highlander
I’ve since changed the name to:
“Lance Armstrong’s Testes”
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
But I failed the vision test
During testing, the driver said he wanted to go 2,000 miles without changing the transmission.
The tank responded with "Sure, man."
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
so she gave them test tickles.
Trouble is, it'll take forever to test.
He tested positive for Coke!
Superintendent really wanted the students to get a Positive result in their upcoming tests.
It was trident tested
All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”
The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”
Because the scientists needed a test tickle to start.
You’re Under-a-test
Thankfully the tests came back negative and they're not my kids after all
I told him that President Trump gets tested every day!
I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.
They’re testing to see if I have claustrophobia or not.
Two test tickles
Give her a test tickle.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
A test-tickle!
Too bad it was my IQ test.
At the end, he stopped us outside the test centre.
"You know," I began, "alcohol really impairs someone's judgements..."
The lad's lip quivered, "But I'm not drunk, mister."
"No," I replied, "I am, and you've passed."
Woman: I’m here for a smear test
Dentist: oh that’s next door!
So I did a few tests. Turns out I could never be.
After a test for my blood type came back as Cabern-A positive.
In case this is your first time here (I haven't posted in a while), I find jokes here and elsewhere on the internet (and now my friends have started sending me jokes), and I text them to my daughter. I then capture her reactions for those sweet, sweet internet points.
Thanks very much to the original joke submitters. You dads are alright. If you missed any of the previous episodes:
EDIT: Since this is blowing up, I may as well mention that the young lady in question just passed her driver's license test this morning! Everyone congratulate her!
Also, thanks for the gold.
I decided to do a drop test with my friends on my iPhone 6s to see if the screen would break. It didn’t break so I said “ I guess you could say that test was a 6s.”
I had one of them tested, and it was positive. Hope it's not terminal.
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