I've suspected my Wife of adding extra soil to our garden, so I confronted her about it, but she just shrugged it off..
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︎ Feb 24 2021
I always bring an extra pair of underwear when I go golfing
Just incase I get a hole in one.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
So my hotel just tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning..
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︎ Mar 06 2021
I always keep an extra pair of gloves with me in the winter
Theyβre just a good thing to have on-hand
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 23 2021
Lately Iβve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
Iβm starting my own hedge fund.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
My friend got a role as an extra in a film. His job was to approach the lead actor and comb her hair away from the middle of her head...
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︎ Feb 14 2021
When you die, your eyes have a few extra seconds just before they die.
It's because they dilate.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Jean-Pierreβs dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Today I bought extra virgin olive oil
After I used it it was just olive oil.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What do you call an extra finger?
I donβt know, but you can always count on it more than the others.
π︎ 18
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".
They were right. I should have waited until next week.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
A staircase is just a stair with extra steps.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Where does extra virgin olive oil comes from ?
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
π︎ 108
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??
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︎ Oct 27 2020
There is no point in adding an extra 's' to the word needles.
π︎ 39
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︎ Sep 22 2020
A person that works faster than expected always has extra time on their hands.
The same is true for clocks.
(PSA: Remember to correct yours tonight, as applicable.)
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..
.. last year I raked it in.
π︎ 18
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︎ Sep 25 2020
A guy walked into a bar in New Orleans and ordered a Corona Extra and two Hurricanes.
The bartender said "that'll be $20.20"
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 25 2020
When typing a word-play joke, I never put extra spaces on the left.
π︎ 42
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︎ Jul 02 2020
A tipped my psychic an extra $20.00 the other day...
She was a very happy medium.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 25 2020
The delivery guy accidentally got us 3 extra bags of flour
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Why do bakers always carry extra cash?
Because they never know when a bit of extra dough might be kneaded!
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 17 2020
What do you call an extra thick plant?
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 04 2020
No one laughs at my βbring an extra pair of pants when you go golfingβ joke.
I guess βhole-in-oneβ jokes are sub-par.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 11 2020
Weβve just had a decorator in to do some work on the house. I got chatting to him and it turns out he is a British Airways pilot whoβs been furloughed and earning a bit of extra cash.
He made a lovely job of the landing.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 09 2020
"I always try to go the extra mile for my customers."
Said the city's most hated cab driver.
π︎ 58
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︎ May 28 2020
You gotta be careful getting into tennis, they have you buy a bunch of extra stuff you donβt need...
π︎ 12
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︎ May 27 2020
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
π︎ 65
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︎ Mar 18 2020
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
Itβs textbook Economics.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 13 2020
This morning I made my hamster an extra strong espresso coffee and crushed some caffeine pills up in his food.
I'd hate for him to fall asleep at the wheel.
π︎ 15
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︎ May 20 2020
Extra thicc
π︎ 76
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︎ Jan 09 2020
Just bought some extra strong mints.
Having a hard time getting them out of the packet.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 25 2020
Puns for my extra credit in English
Hello, if you could please make a funny pun so I could get extra credit for the title of my essay, that would be great.
Topic: Pursuit of Knowledge- Frankenstein.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 20 2019
We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 06 2020
We bought extra toilet paper for the party.
It's for the party poopers.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I always bring an extra pair of pants golfing...
...just in case I get a hole in one.
π︎ 27
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Why did the golfer have an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
When I go golfing, I always take an extra jacket
In case I get a hole in one.
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 18 2020
When I go golfing I always take an extra jacket...
In case I get a hole in one
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
I always take an extra pair of socks when I go golfing
In case I get a hole in one
π︎ 183
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︎ May 02 2020
Whenever I go golfing, I bring an extra pair of pants
Just in case I get a hole in one
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
Which US state is famous for its extra small soft drinks?
π︎ 14
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︎ May 01 2020
Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?
Just in case you get a hole in one.
π︎ 74
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︎ Nov 12 2019
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