My buddy, Evan, just got acquitted of all charges that he was imprinting his face in the foundation of a local housing project.

They couldn't find any concrete Evan dents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Why do they call it alimony?

Most of it is Steve McQueen and Robert Evans money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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I don't think I'd make a great host in WestWorld...

But Evan Rachel Wood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Renk0b
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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My dad walked into Home Depot to get some containers...

An employee walks up and asks him if he needs any help. Dad responds with "Unless you're going to pack the stuff at home away for me, not really!" The employee lets him know that the best container is the dumpster. "If you haven't used it in a year and don't miss it, throw it away." Dad looks to his fiance and says, "Evan! All he does is show up for breaks, drink my beer and eat my food, and then leaves! He was gone all last year and I didn't miss him!"

I am Evan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vacuousregistrant
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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