I can't find the actual document anywhere.
Even three years ago, sketching and coloring felt so entertaining to me. My art was praised by many people within my social circle. Some even said that my drawings look as if they were printed. I never took any art classes, because it felt so natural and effortless. Today, I just don't have the patience. I just can't see the leisure in it today. It feels so boring and like a burdening chore to even start doing it, which stands in sharp contrast with the days when I would spend days just refining a completed doodle. Sometimes, I wonder if my smartphone use is responsible for it. It just reduces the number of dopamine receptors in the brain. My interest and competence in drawing faded away so gradually that I was clueless and unconcerned about it until it was painfully apparent. It was all cumulative. Even if I resolve to turn things around and force myself to sit down to draw, I would randomly sketch something primitive that I know off the top of my head without any clear end goal in my mind, and then I would stop since I will be absolutely lost where to take things from there. An hour later, I am just stupidly staring at the paper, lacking any sense of direction. I get up, take an-hour-long walk, return, and yet again, I find myself stupidly staring at the paper. I give up, go to sleep, and upon waking up, guess what happens? I am stupidly gawking at the paper, looking at triangle I made at the top-left corner of the page, the bowler hat at the bottom right, and a pentagram in the centre. These pieces are completely disjointed and don't seem to add up in the same drawing. So, experienced meditators of Reddit: can the practice of meditation reinvigorate the need to create something?
