Easy Money Puns

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

I just sold my homing pigeon for the 15th time!

Hold it in front of a mirror

Because of the economies of scale.

Dad: [points at trees] “See those trees? Kid: “yeah?” Dad: “How much will you give me if I take off my shoes and jump over them?” Kid: [looking up at trees] “There’s no way! A billion dollars!!!” Dad: [takes off shoes, puts them on the ground in front of him, jumps over shoes] “Pay up!”

Thanks to his ability to pick pockets

(circa 1990)

Dad: I'll give you ten dollars if you get me a beer.
Me: Seriously? Okay.. --go and get him a beer--
Dad: Alright, go get me one of your sisters dolls.
Me: What? Why?
Dad: Well do you want your ten doll hairs or not?

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer, he hears a voice and realises it's coming from the bowl of peanuts on the bar "Looking very smart tonight sir and that cologne is hitting all the right notes. Oh yes!"

Somewhat taken aback, but also feeling confident he goes to the Gents to buy some condoms. Just as he's about to put the coins in a voice comes out of the machine "Don't waste your money mate! You haven't got a chance with the ladies tonight."

Astonished at this he relays all this to the barmaid. "Ah, thats easy to explain, the nuts are Complimentary and the condom machine is Out Of Order.

My family/town has socially alienated me for my sexuality. This has lead to quite a couple of problems, as you could imagine.

I've been behind on my taxes for quite a bit and it was only a matter of time before the government found out. They've been having a field day confiscating all my belongings.

That leaves me on the street.

I make enough money panhandling and doing under the table stuff to get me food every day and even enough to pay for an unlimited data plan, which I'm using to write this.

I need support. I can't continue on like this.

Life's not easy.

Especially if you're a homelessexual like me.

While we were watching season 5, when Walt drove his money in a van to the desert to bury it, I said, "Well how is he going to remember where he buried it?" And my boyfriend said, "Easy, it's right beside the van!"

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel!

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.