20 of the most popular dad jokes - to use in emergencies

Here are 20 more of the most popular dad jokes, for emergency situations where you quickly need a good dad joke:

  1. A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
    The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you.”
  2. I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
    I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
  3. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
    A receding hare-line.
  4. What do you call a cow with two legs?
    Lean beef.
  5. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
    Thanks— I’ll never part with it!
  6. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
    They always take things literally.
  7. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
    Between you and me, something smells.
  8. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
    Because the “P” is silent.
  9. Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
    I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?"
  10. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
    He just needed a little space.
  11. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
    A nervous wreck.
  12. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
    Re-Morse code.
  13. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
    They dribble all the time.
  14. I poured root beer in a square glass.
    Now I just have beer.
  15. What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
    A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
  16. The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
    And 21.
  17. What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
    A chew-chew train.
  18. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
    Envelope.
  19. Why is England the wettest country?
    Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
  20. Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
    Because he was a little horse.

NB: I curated these from a much longer list that was published by Reader's Digest, which is also why you see many of these appear regularly in this sub.

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