Downer Rail Puns

I was just thinking about the most traumatic events on each franchise. What do you think they were? I'm talking things that were hard to watch (or film for the crew) or gave you the feels. My thoughts:

NJ: Teresa going to prison. Obv. (We may need to get used to a housewife or two behind bars, but she started it) The fight between the Joes' was crazy. Any Poshe event. Huh, these people get more physical than others shows. And I'm sorry, Caroline, but describing your father-in-law's disappearance and death and denying any mob involvement BLEW MY MIND. He was found in his trunk, shot and tied up (I think?). Then (though when they were off the show) Dina's ex, your brother-in-law, hired people to attack her and her spouse? Your sister? THEN WRITING A LETTER SAYING HE IS A GOOD PERSON? WTF?!

NY: The boat trip. Going cameras down was a first. Bethenny's blow up in Cartagena too, her railing at LuAnn was hard to watch, you could feel her anger and hurt. I'd add Kelly on Scary Island, but that was just bizarre to me. Sonya drunk and hitting her head in Miami, along with her and "put the dog down"/"you don't touch the Morgan letters!"--like, that was not entertaining to me. How do you film that and not intervene? And, only shown later, but whatever went down in Miami with Dorinda and Tinsley where production did not feel safe having Tinsley stay in the house.

Potomac: Katie season 4 as a whole. She just seemed so off that it was worrying to watch. Monique/Candiace fight, because when Gizelle said later that in seconds Monique destroyed the image they had spent 5 seasons building and becoming a stereotype just hit different.

SLC: Clearly Jen's arrest. I mean it gave Lisa PTSD. An event she did not witness... But I'm sure the cast and crew (bathing Meredith aside) had to seriously take a moment to wrap their minds around it.

OC: Whew. There's stuff to unpack here. The divorces and fallout. The dune buggy accident. I have a hard time watching the accident. Then Vicki and the Airlift (personally, I think Tamra was more injured and Vicki was faking the severity, which Briana agreed with)-- that had to be scary for the crew to deal with. Vicki in Iceland, again I think she was faking a lot of that, she had heart problems because she probably was jetlagged, dehydrated, and mixing some kind of uppers and downers. But the wheelchair and the towel over her head was a lot. Brooks and the cancer scam was probably crazy for the producers to film and deal with, le

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

So, it’s 7AM, woke up couldn’t go back to sleep. Popped a couple peaches,2 somas. Just railed a pink oxy 10. Have my yearly family thanksgiving today, I don’t really like concept of thanksgiving Bc of its history. probably will end up at the homies to dodge the fam. They are all bunch of ex convicts, current crooks , newly sober’ and hypocrites tbh. I love my fam but besides my lil cuz I brought up, there is some bad blood over years they don’t fw me unless they see me at holidays. They have all burnt each other at some point. Just don’t wanna deal with everybody all my close cousins have infants now (kids make me nervous) one of which was born with horrible deformities, which I’m not used to, never had a disabled person in our fam like that and it’s just gonna be tough to look my little cousin like that. Especially w her bd not showing up. Torn rn smoking a cigar on making an appearance or not coming at all. One thing is for sure I will be throwed but I can keep it together as long as I don’t start making mixed drinks w the downers. Anyone else in a similar boat ? And feel free to throw in your 2 cents, I know I can’t be the only one in a situation somewhat similar to this. Not trying to have a sob story just can’t sleep An was gonna see what y’all thought about it. But besides that rant, hope all my fellow drug users have a good thanksgiving. Happy Turkey Day Degenerates !

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.

“BOOM”?!