A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

....

It was a shitzu.

EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gomass4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

(credit: Groucho Marx)

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4-8Newday
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Why did a man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?

Because they were Watch Dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a tired out dog?

One wears a suit and the other just pants.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Aitch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.

The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."

πŸ‘︎ 446
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do by raising one leg?

Shake hands.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Dog Man don't like tuna

But Katmandu

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barbetto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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What did the man say to the rabid dog in the street?

stray away

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitman07435
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.

"No thanks, just looking around."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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What did the man do when he saw a hot dog?

He put it in the shade.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoIAmWeird
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I told my wife that a dog is a mans best friend

"Shame you don't have any friends" she said

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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A blind man walks into a bar with his guide dog.

Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:

"Just looking around..."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexasha05
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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A man is walking his dogs and another guy asks β€œexcuse me are they Jack Russels?”

The owner quickly replies, β€œNo, they’re mine!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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What did the Chinese man love to do with his dog?

Take it for a wok.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Frickin_GotG
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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A man brings his Rottweiler into the vet. β€œMy dog is cross-eyed is there anything you can do for him?”

β€œWell,” the vet says, β€œLet’s have a look at him.” The vet picks up the dog and looks into his eyes. After a few second the he says, β€œI’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”

The shocked owner replies, β€œwhat?! Because he’s cross-eyed?!”

β€œNo, because he’s heavy.”

πŸ‘︎ 462
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueholeload
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Was walking my dogs the other day and some man asked me, β€œare those Jack Russells?”

I said, β€œNo, they’re mine”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ur-da
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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A man went to buy a dog and asked the shopkeeper how loyal it was

He said, "I sold him 6 times and he came back to me"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdityaPlayZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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One day a man asked a dog. How do you communicate with other dogs?

The dog barked

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exe123deadstart
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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When the old man gives a dog a bone...
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonthethan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Bouncer: "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." Man: "This is my Seeing-Eye dog." Bouncer: "A Chihuahua?"

Man: "A Chihuahua? They gave me a freaking Chihuahua?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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A police officer told me that my dog was chasing a man on a bicycle. I told him that’s impossible.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbelvedere2017
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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My dad and I were walking down the street when we passed a man walking 4 dogs.

He turned to me and said, β€œWhoa! How blind was that guy?”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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Earlier today a man broke into and released all the dogs from a dogs home

Police are desperately looking for leads.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spitfire5890
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Why did the man hate Hot Dogs?

Because they are the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegod999
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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This man approached me in the park. He said, 'Have you seen my dog anywhere?'

Who on earth calls their dog Anywhere?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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If you want to prove that dog is truly mans best friend

Lock up your dog and wife in the boot of your car for an hour and see who's happiest to see you when you let them out

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jezreel62
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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A man walks into a zoo. It only has one dog

Is a shitzhu

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepethetoad69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Outside of a dog, a man’s best friend is a book.

Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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A man walks into a zoo and the only animal there is a dog.

It's a shitzu

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allthegods
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a zoo but the only animal they had was a dog.

It was a shitzu

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Why did the man name his dogs Rolex, and Timex?

Because they were watch dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Hard_Feelings_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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What does a dog do, that a man steps into?

Pants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jDubbaYo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend

Inside a dog it’s too dark to read.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nukesup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

It's a shitzu.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twano
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2017
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A man goes to a zoo, but the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pringlepowder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a zoo and the only animal there is a dog,

It's a shitzhu

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amamam77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A man went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog.

It was a shitzu.

πŸ‘︎ 362
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beermeblazer25
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pllarsen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?

Because they were watch dogs

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KxngJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a zoo and there is only one animal in the entire zoo, a dog.

It was a shitzu!

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog

It’s a Shitzu

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrippinSky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal in there, and it is a dog.

It was a shitzu

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot-d0g-Water
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog..

It’s a shitzu.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/m4cl3nn4n
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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