Derek Taunt Puns

Hi everyone, this is an updated list from the one I made last week. I also made a YouTube video showing all the highlights and some commentary which can be found here!

I read through most of your comments from last week and I added 3 bad calls. I decided not to add the Steelers first down because of this video - I think I actually agree that it is a bad camera angle.

Enjoy shaking your head at the list below:

1. Orlando Brown getting hit in the eye with a flag and it ruining his career - Dec. 19, 1999
2. Bottlegate - Dec. 16th, 2001
3. Kellen Winslow pushed out of bounds on game winning touchdown catch - Dec. 2, 2007
4. PI vs. Detroit – Nov. 22, 2009
5. Unnecessary roughness + PI call to help Tom Brady comeback - Dec. 8, 2013
6. Offsides penalty gives Chargers the win – Oct. 4, 2015
7. Terrell Pryor taunting call that stymied Browns comeback - Sept. 18, 2016
8. Duke Johnson fumble debacle - Oct. 2, 2016
9. Carlos Hyde first down called back and Derek Carr Fumble - Sep. 30, 2018
10. Chargers false start for touchdown – Oct. 14, 2018
11. Illegal hit on Baker Mayfield not called - Oct. 21, 2018
12. Lamar Jackson fumble called dead - Dec. 30, 2018
13. Illegal blindside block on Jarvis Landry - Oct. 13, 2019
14. Head to head no call against Chiefs - Jan. 7 2021
15. PI call against Grant Delpit AJ Green vs. Chargers - Oct. 10, 2021
16. PI no call against Packers and false start - Dec. 25, 2021

The more you know, the less you realize you know. The saying holds especially true for NFL power rankings. Really makes someone wonder if a 66-yard doink is truly the difference between a 27th ranked team and a 9th rank team. 31/32 reporting, whose rankings are forgettable? And whose head will we call for next?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

When she found out what really happened with her mom and that her mom was the issue not Derek or Scott she still kept Scott at a distance he didn’t deserve . Yet she blatantly was being sexually forward with Isaac in episode 3 of season 3 at literally beginning of the season. The way she flirted when he kept it hidden that she was the one shooting the arrows and when they were taunting the twins by playing with the motorcycle she was helping Issac maneuver the motorcycle , looking all in his eyes face to face , she knew what she was doing. It was completely selfish .

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

And now I’m cannelloni

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Booking the WWE Championship in 2019

Booking the WWE Championship in 2020

Booking the WWE Championship in 2021

Hello! So, this seems to be a new yearly tradition. For the last two years I have booked the world titles of WWE, NJPW, and AEW for the following year. Well, this year I am back! I’m keeping most of the storylines that are currently going, which means Day One and Wrestle Kingdom will look mostly the same. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Day One:

Fatal-4-Way Match:

Bobby Lashley vs Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins vs Big E © (22:05)

There’s not much to write here about the story because this is what is happening in real life. Just a chaotic Fatal-4-Way with Big E getting the win by pinning Bobby Lashley.

Royal Rumble:

Goldberg vs Big E © (7:39)

Okay. I know. I know. No one wants to see Goldberg win the WWE Championship in the year of our lord 2022 but he did just pin Bobby Lashley a few months ago at Crown Jewel and it would just be a nice moment to give Big E his dream match while he’s WWE Champion. So, Goldberg shows up on the Raw after Day One and proclaims that he’s next in line for a shot at the title. Big E accepts. This match is a sprint where the two men try to outpower each other but eventually Big E overcomes his hero and pins him in the center of the ring. After the match, Goldberg and Big E shake hands.

WrestleMania 38 Night One:

Seth Rollins vs Big E © (23:16)

*After the Royal Rumble, Seth Rollins begins an all out war against Big E. Weeks of attacks and taunting, getting more and more violent as the weeks go on. Seth even makes the trip to SmackDown for a sneak attack on King Woods and Sir Kofi. Seth says the last time WrestleMania was in Dallas he was watching from the crowd, but it is his destiny to win t

\"This is a picture of Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens\" -Karma

(I've decided to only make this 1 part, this is retroactively part 1/1)

Prelude

Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens, 2 incredibly talented performers, 2 former Universal, Intercontinental, United States, and NXT Champions, and 2 guys who are currently best buddies on-screen, despite feuding in 2016, and late 2019-early 2020. In this prompt, I will be booking the odd pairing for the modern-day version of The Two Man Power Trip.

Day 1

I know Day 1 has already happened, but there are some things that need to be changed, this is Fantasy Booking after all. The 1 important thing that has to be changed is that Brock Lesnar DOES NOT COMPETE IN THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! (Brock vs Bobby now happens at Mania)

Fatal 4-Way Match for the WWE Championship

Big E (C) vs Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens vs Bobby Lashley w/MVP

>We start off with Day 1, with what was originally going to be a Fatal 4-Way Match for the WWE Championship between Big E, Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, and Bobby Lashley. The match is the same match as it was IRL (just without Brock), but it gets an extra 10 minutes in length.
>
>During these 10 minutes, Seth & KO continue to work as a unit, which forces Big E and Lashley to have to work together.
>
>In the closing moments of match, Seth has Big E in postion for a Curb Stomp, performing a rope rebound, and attempting the Curb Stomp, but just like Randy Orton did at Wrestlemania 31, Big E gets up, sending Rollins into the air, catches Rollins, and hits him with a Big Ending, but Big E then turn around into a Stunner from Kevin Owens, KO goes for the cover, 1-2-3, Kevin Owens is the new WWE Champion

Kevin Owens def Big E (C), Seth Rollins, and Bobby Lashley to become the new WWE Champion (18:25)

Raw 01/03/22

>Raw kicks off with new WWE Champion Kevin Owens making his way to the ring, flanked by his new best friend, Seth Rollins.
>
>KO says the following, "I told you, I told you all this was gonna happen, I told you that either myself or Seth Rollins was gonna walk out as WWE Champion, and look at what happened, I became your new, WWE Champion, but I didn't become WWE Champion, no, we*, became WWE Champion, because Seth Rol

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

"No apologies, nah suckers I'm not sorry"

Never EEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRR apologize for a win. Fuck that shit. If the Bears wanted to win that game they should have made more plays. They didn't. They lost. Tough shit. I won't apologize for a win. Never. Ever.

Going into every game I could care less if the Steelers gain 50 yards all game as long as they score 1 more point than the opponent I'm happy. I'll take a win any way I can get it. Bad team, good team, hurt team, worst team -- I don't care. Just win, baby!

If you're gonna go on r/NFL and apologize or talk shit on your team to fit in then you don't deserve to call yourself a Steelers fan.

If you're a Bears fan reading this please allow me to say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok that's it from me. Here's my live, unedited thoughts on the game broadcast:

Ugh, nerves.

Coming into this game, as a Steelers fan, is nerve wracking. I know this is an immensely winnable game for the Steelers. But as a Steelers fan, I also know that that means it's an immensely losable game for the Steelers too.

Mike Tomlin needs this one to have beaten every team in the NFL (other than the Steelers of course). Ben hasn't beaten them since the Jerome Bettis Game. I think it's time they get one against these guys. Mike Glennon, Steelers kryptonite, isn't playing tonight. And the Steelers typically perform well against rookie QBs. Let's get it!

HERE WE GO!

• Goddammit they're talking about the Steelers long home MNF winning streak. This is bad. Real bad. Fuck.

• I completely forgot about the 3-0 Miami game. That game was so bad and yet it's one of my favorite games ever. Or at least I used to think it was until I realized I completely forgot all about it.

• I get the strategy of not taking chances on offense and expecting your defense to win you field position. Limiting mistakes works in these types of games but it's also why these teams beat the Steelers -- because the Steelers let them hang around.

• Nevermind, I forgot about the penalty -- 3rd down deep shot to Chase works. Lets go.

• If you have Zach Gentry and Dan Moore next to each other on the left...run left. When you add Kevin Dotson to that mix there aren't gonna be many teams that are gonna stuff the run to that side unless they overload their defense.

• Steelers color rush jerseys are slick but they're not the best looking football jersey in the city. That belongs to the Pitt Panthers home jersey, the best looking jersey in all of football

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "