"Dad, why is my oldest brother called George?" "Because he was born on St George's day" "Dad, why is my younger brother called David?" "Because he was born on St David's day" "Dad...."

"Oh for crying out loud, enough with the questions, Pancake."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatabaseSolid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2022
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I was at a restaurant the other day and David Tennant was at the table next to me. Lord behold the waitress accidentally brought me his order. So of course I ate it. When she asked if I enjoyed it

I said, it was just what the Doctor ordered.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Bang_Grannies
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2022
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So David lost his ID the other day...

Now he's just Dav.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UmarBilal_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
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When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.

"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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A student visits the principal’s office one day and the principal says to him, β€œWhat’s your name, son?” He replies, β€œD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The principal looks up and asks him, β€œOh, do you have a stutter?”

The student replies, β€œNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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My friend David loves making puns, and they are simultaneously amazing and awful. Now he has a Kickstarter for a Pun-a-Day calendar. reddit.com/r/kickstarter/…
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordPachelbel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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My friend David had his ID stolen the other day

Now we just call him dav

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HekticLobster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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Hey now, cake it easy
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevekimes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2022
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The Wong and White wedding

While in high school, Dana White met and fell in love with David Wong. After a few months the couple decided to get married. Dana insisted on getting married at sunset on the ocean on a yacht. The big day finally arrived and both families joined together to head out for the wedding. The captain of the yacht, checked the weather and saw a storm brewing. He advised the party it was not safe to travel out, but Dana and David both insisted they were going to get married on the ocean at sunset, so everyone loaded up and the boat departed. Sure enough just as the captain was performing the ceremony the storm hit, and the boat capsized killing everyone aboard. The next day the head of the the NTSB, Mr. Perry made this statement. It was a stormy night. So many Wong's and Whites. Neither would change their headstrong ways. The sea was in a rage. The captain turned the page. Their dying wasn't worth what they paid.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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David Bowie's Culinary Enterprises

David Bowie is reported to be opening a pop-up one time food stand next Saturday in Santa Monica. There will be Gyros, but just for one day.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/george__kaplan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2015
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