47 Hilarious Crush Crush Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I have a job where I get to crush cans for a living!

It was soda pressing

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👤︎ u/1_useless_person

📅︎ May 26 2022

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Why did the electrician have a crush on Stacy's mom?

Because Stacy's mom has got it going ohm.

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/GetYourVanOffMyMeat

📅︎ May 03 2022

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Why didn't 4 ask his crush out?

He was two squared.

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/Halpaviitta

📅︎ May 15 2022

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I think the cashier at the grocery store has a crush on me….

She just totally checked me out!

👍︎ 19

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👤︎ u/mayhem6

📅︎ May 04 2022

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I think the barista at Starbucks has a crush on me.

Every time I am there she keeps yelling "Tall Hot Chocolate!"

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/wasprobot

📅︎ Apr 09 2022

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What to say to your French crush?

Eiffel for you.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/koreanjudas

📅︎ Feb 25 2022

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My crush told me I was no match for her

But rather an entire torch

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/Ternessew

📅︎ Apr 01 2022

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What did I tell the basketball player when he asked me for advice on how to ask his crush out?

Shoot your shot

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Iamshort4100506

📅︎ Feb 19 2022

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My crush asked me what my type was

I responded with AB positive

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/Natan-Cake

📅︎ Feb 12 2022

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I hate my job. All I do is crush Pepsi cans with my feet.

It’s soda-pressing.

👍︎ 173

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👤︎ u/Lukejjjjj

📅︎ Aug 03 2021

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What did the asthmatic kid say to his crush?

“You take my breath away”

👍︎ 49

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👤︎ u/CaptinDerpII

📅︎ Aug 23 2021

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My toddler has his first crush.

Disaster. They flirt all the time.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/SirFrankPork

📅︎ Jul 11 2021

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Me: I think I have a crush on Beyoncé.

Her: Whatever floats your boat.

Me: No. That’s buoyancy.

👍︎ 9k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Nov 24 2019

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Why didn't the man without a torso ask out his crush?

Because he doesn't have the guts.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/geekmemes24

📅︎ Jul 07 2021

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my crush came over to play with legos

it was a good way to build a relationship

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/Echo_The_God

📅︎ Apr 06 2021

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I got caught playing pokémon go outside my crush’s bedroom window and they asked me what I wanted

pikachu

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/than-q

📅︎ Jun 03 2021

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After she cancelled several dates with me, I told my crush she should start dating wheelchair-bound men…

because she’s really good at standing guys up.

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/19triguy82

📅︎ Apr 20 2021

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I got asked out by my crush!

Then I realized a can of soda can't talk...

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/DINO-BURY89

📅︎ May 09 2021

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Can you guys come up with a pun using my crush’s name?

Her name is Amelia can you guys help me out?

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/Noib79815

📅︎ Feb 03 2020

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I had a crush on my science lab partner, then she left the school

I lost My Chemical Romance

👍︎ 115

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👤︎ u/xXpUsSySl4Y3R9000Xx

📅︎ Mar 18 2020

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When your crush walks in your class

But you're homeschooled

👍︎ 26

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👤︎ u/Joker6983

📅︎ May 31 2020

🚨︎ report

I sent a message to my crush

She didn't reddit

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/cbsxact7

📅︎ Feb 08 2021

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I had a crush in high school...

... I drank it.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/TTChaos

📅︎ Oct 21 2020

🚨︎ report

I found out my crush is single, but she has COVID

Maybe I could be her new taste in men

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/skyhighjams

📅︎ Feb 08 2021

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I told the alphabet to my crush…

She said I missed out the letters, U R A Q T, I responded with “thanks!”

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/AdamTheMango

📅︎ Nov 30 2020

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I always yield to vehicles that look like they could crush my car. They have the right of weigh.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/alexferrick

📅︎ Feb 21 2020

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I asked my crush out

She said I was living in a Fanta-sy

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/the_mythx

📅︎ Feb 12 2020

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Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate.

And we’ve been married more than 27 years!

👍︎ 57

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👤︎ u/Agonda12

📅︎ Mar 22 2020

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Valentine's Day with my Crush imgur.com/gallery/ffhwR

👍︎ 445

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👤︎ u/seehollisrun

📅︎ Feb 14 2017

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So a teen asks his crush to the prom, which she agrees to

On the day of the prom, he goes to pick up his suit. However, once he gets there, there’s a line, so he waits....and waits...and waits...

After he gets his suit, he goes to get her corsage. When he gets to the flower shop, however, there’s an even bigger line, so he waits...and he waits...and he waits...

Once he had the corsages, he made his way to her house, but the roads were packed so he had to wait in line for the turnoff. So he waited...and waited.

Finally, he reaches her house, picks her up, and drives her to prom. But there’s a line to get into the school, so they wait... and wait...

At last, they are in the prom and dancing away. After a while, they get thirsty. So they head for the refreshment table and.....

There’s no punch line

👍︎ 352

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👤︎ u/Strikercharge

📅︎ Jun 28 2018

🚨︎ report

I asked my crush to pass me a chair

Cuz I was falling hard for him.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/animey04

📅︎ Jul 27 2020

🚨︎ report

I once had crush on a pastry chef

Turns out she didn’t have any fillings for me

👍︎ 26

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👤︎ u/runs_with_airplanes

📅︎ Oct 24 2019

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Daughter's new crush

This just happened.

Daughter: I like this new boy DeAntré!

Mom: I can use Deantré in a sentence....

Would you like a drink with De-antré?

👍︎ 1k

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👤︎ u/zackprice

📅︎ Nov 26 2014

🚨︎ report

So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”

“Because I want to date you.”

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👤︎ u/Best_Bean

📅︎ Jun 12 2019

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When you see your crush in the hallway

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👤︎ u/aTroubledGuy

📅︎ Nov 16 2018

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I have a crush on fire...

She is burning alive but that fire is looking pretty hot.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Parkwad

📅︎ Sep 11 2020

🚨︎ report

I crush soft drink cans for a living.

It's soda pressing.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/Crumble_Pies

📅︎ May 01 2022

🚨︎ report

I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It’s just…

Soda pressing

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/aaronpc07

📅︎ Sep 29 2021

🚨︎ report

I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day.

It’s soda pressing.

👍︎ 3k

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👤︎ u/DonutLord23

📅︎ Jun 19 2021

🚨︎ report

I hate my job, all I do is crush cans all day. It's soda pressing.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/Echoherb

📅︎ Dec 01 2021

🚨︎ report

I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day.

It's Soda pressing.

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/Misplaced_Texan

📅︎ Oct 01 2021

🚨︎ report

I have the most boring job in the world. All I do is crush cans.

It’s soda-pressing.

👍︎ 41

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👤︎ u/PartTimePOG

📅︎ Oct 27 2021

🚨︎ report

My crush came over to play legos

It was a good way to build our relationship

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/Akorical

📅︎ Mar 08 2021

🚨︎ report

My crush came over to play legos

It was a good way to build a relationship

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/Akorical

📅︎ Mar 06 2021

🚨︎ report

I get sad when I have to crush my drink cans

It’s soda pressing

👍︎ 37

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👤︎ u/justbeatitTTD

📅︎ Nov 03 2020

🚨︎ report

All I do is crush cans all day!

It’s soda pressing!

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/viky_boy

📅︎ Oct 29 2020

🚨︎ report

My crush asked what my type was

I told her AB positive

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Natan-Cake

📅︎ Mar 23 2020

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