Coxswain Insignia Puns

MC Vanderhaden has one.

How common is it?

Anyone currently at a station have an CS coxswain?

Please note: the following story is translated from Galactic Standard to English for the benefit of its viewers

Ship Log:

“Galactic Calendar Date 3099.583 A.C.

The research ship Peaceful Delivery, Captained by Galaghat of Cinquar, has made its thirty-first system hop through the 4th Arm of the Galaxy. At this time PD has received data of a gravitational tear that spans light-years across. This anomaly is not only measurable through highly sensitive gravitic sensors, it is visible. The tear terminates at the system designated in Galactic Standard as RB-Circle-Square-29, a red dwarf system. Ship Coxswain PD tells me the star in question has normal electromagnetic frequency patterns.”

The Peaceful Delivery circled around at the end of the tear, not daring to go closer. A tear in space-time was an ancient way of going faster than light. Well, saying they went faster than light was misleading. Sure the ships they sent did go faster than [300 million metres per second] but they didn’t come out on the other side intact. The ships they sent through this method came out of faster than light in a fiery explosion. Physics does not like to be messed with and it gets angry when it does.

The ‘space-time folding drive’ was never completed so that a ship could travel intact. But it was instrumental in the development of the contemporary faster than light void-tears. The monuments of the lost pilots were still kept in spotless condition to this day, 31 centuries later.

They followed the trail, giving the crack in space-time a healthy distance. PD believed it had been years since the debris exited faster than light but it gave them no peace of mind. By its nature the drive was so unpredictable a tiny piece of debris could devastate any ship it came across.

At the end of this tear they came across a very interesting but unimportant red dwarf system. This is where they first found the signal.

The Captain continued his log. “We are now 7 [light hours] from the red star and holding. The system has 8 planets and several large asteroid fields. Unknown frequencies have been detected and on the advice of my Coxswain I have decided to investigate further. Frequencies detected and classified as ‘probably denoting intelligent life.’ Since the signals were unintelligible to all used frequencies of communication a first contact scenario seems likely” End log.

The Captain ended his log for the day’s discovery with a last bit of suspense. After al

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

When I got home, they were still there.