I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
He said his coworker was working with a big saw and cut off the left side of his body. But my friend told me not to worry, because he’s all right
He really fell into his work.
But I didn’t expect it to be that hard
“Madagascar?”
“No, I made a diesel van”
...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.
I’m still working on it though.
Men are now working around the clock.
When I got home, all the signs were there
[Yes] Well I’m still working on it.
Asphalt (My dads been telling this one since I was 12, never heard it anywhere else 😂)
They raise the roof.
It's called Studfinder.
It was riveting
In his last email he said "I remain at your disposal for any concerns".
Couldn't find him there this morning. I hope he's ok.
What, the actual Fuck.
I don’t know what to make of it.
My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.
He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.
And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.
My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.
In doors.
#StayHome
It was the very first pyramid scheme.
Give me a second I'm still working on it.
Man, I gotta work on that...
But, when I got home all the signs were there.
Customers are lined up for blocks.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡We raised the roof.
He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up
The evidence wasn't concrete.
The shovel
True story, he says, “The crane business must be booming.”
I told him I miter saw who it was...
He's really great at installing Windows!
They're always getting laid.
They’re dealing with it asbestos they can
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
Looking for the punchline? Hold on, I'm still working on it.
It was a baseless accusation
It’s riveting.
Me: “This thing is going to be huge.”
Son: “Why? It’s only three floors high.”
Me: “Look at that elevator shaft! They’re going to build more on!”
Son: “Geez Dad, that’s a bit harsh.”
One audience member said, “Well the routine was funny and all but your performance was a little wooden,”
A stud finder
It's a job I could really see myself doing.
I was in charge of the fencing. The construction site was almost finished, and it was only this and the landscaping remaining. I did the first couple posts, but then I went to lunch, and when I came back, they were gone. I did as much as I could until the day ended, and I went home. I came back the next day, and they were all gone. I decided to speak to the contractor, and when I told him about the posts, he said “Oh, yeah. There’s tons of reposting on this site.”
Its a boring job
It’s nice to see a politician make good on a concrete policy proposal.
Legoo.
A Caterpillar.
Would they use I-beams
He's a tar-tender now
Riveting!
It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.
Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.
I picked it up and she said sorrowfully, "I didn't make the plane."
"That's fine, honey," I replied. "You know nothing about construction."
Still workin on it... Cant quite nail it down, you woodnt get it, it's pretty screwed up..
Nailed It.
But when I got home, all the signs were there
He told me it was a dead-end job.
Construction is necessary to keep our roads maintained. Please take your "End Construction" campaign signs down.
but I'm still working on it
Ah, I'm still working on it.
Nevermind I'm still working on it.
I'm working on it.
I'm still working on it.
I'm still working on it...
Sorry I am still working on it
But I'm still working on it
...but I'm still working on it.
I’m still working on it...
I’m still working on it!
I'm still working on it.
Nah, I'm still working on it.
I'm still working on it.
Wait, I’m still working on it.
I’m still working on it though
I'm still working on it.
Nevermind...I'm still working on it
But I’m still working on it.
Nah,I'm still working on it
Well I’m still working on it.
I'm still working on it.
I’m still working on it!
I'm still working on it.
I'm still working on it.
I’m still working on it.
i’m still working on it.
I'm working on it.
.. was the roofer
I’m working on it... 🤪
U-crane.
Actually, I am still working on it.
I'm still working on it
