Confide in Me (2016 album) Puns

I was going through some emotional turmoil and needed someone to talk to and give me advice. One of my closest friends happen to be super christian but I love her. She knew what was going on, so of course I confided in her. But what she told me in that moment was NOT what I wanted to hear.

I’ve told her in the past that I wasn’t religious, but she still suggested praying to god or to whoever. That caught me off guard. I wanted her advice, not some fictional sky man’s and if she didn’t have any advice, she could’ve just said so.

I don’t know. Eventually I told her I was an atheist because she kept inviting me to her church. I only ever accepted because I like spending time with her. I always asked questions about her beliefs just because I was curious. I think she took it as I was interested in converting or something.

Religion has never been big in my life. All the pushiness in the attempts to convert you and the stubbornness of their fixed mindset never appealed to me.

I thanked her for her advice. I didn’t say that I would do it, but said that thinking it over may help (even though I’ve been thinking about it this ENTIRE TIME, but whatever). We’re still good friends though.

This only really applies to my two older brothers, the youngest not so much. I always feel like they make excuses for bad parenting, and it makes sense considering I was usually the laughing stock of the family as a kid.

Recently moved in with one of my older brothers while this virus thing blows over. I have trouble sleeping at the normal time, and sometimes I’ll sleep through most of a day just to make it up. My brother is for some reason annoyed by that and told my mom about it over the phone, apparently her instant reaction was “how is he ever going to deal with a normal job?” I always thought she was just an enabler for my dad but I’m starting to have second thoughts, I usually doubt any feelings of hatred for my parents simply because they help me pay for a college degree I’m not interested in.

Is it weird to want her to be less concerned about me being able to hold a job and more concerned about, y’know, the fact that I can’t sleep at night? Regardless, I asked my brother why she says shit like that when I consistently was able to get up for my job over the summer, and he brought up a couple times from years ago when I showed up an hour late for a different job that I also hated.

I may be overreacting, I don’t want to be all self-important like my dad, this might have not been a big deal and I saw it as an insult to me because I probably picked up some narcissistic traits as a kid, and I’m also starting to realize I might have BPD, please tell me if I’m starting to go crazy and demonizing my brothers for no reason?

edit: meant to say BD instead of BPD these abbreviations are weird

Me (19) and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over two years. I feel as though it’s been a pretty good 2 years, I have some mental health stuff that can affect our relationship but we always see through. The biggest problem I’ve always had with him is that I feel like he doesn’t confide in me, he goes to the Internet or just deals with things by himself, it bothers me that he doesn’t come to me. However it’s really been bothering me a lot lately and I’m not sure why. We have been going through a rough patch and I’m not sure if that might have something to do with it. I’m just wondering if anyone has experienced something like this before and if I may be wrong for getting upset that he won’t talk to me about stuff that might be bothering him?

Really, any advice is appreciated. I feel like this situation is a ticking time bomb.

You'll are gonna need some context. My bro and I had a pretty bad relationship when we were younger, my dad pretty much put a wedge between us. However, as we got older, we put it all behind us and are on much better terms now. Our interactions are very limited and I think this is why we are on better terms. He met his girlfriend and me and her instantly got along. She's one of the nicest, kindest people I've ever meet.

Now to the dilemma. I didn't know they were having problems until she called me out of the blue crying and asking for advice. She also insisted that I keep it to myself. I know my brother and if he found out she spoke to me, he would be very very angry and that'd be the end of their relationship so I complied. After that first call, she started calling and texting pretty much every day for a few weeks. Each time, she seemed to be in extreme emotional distress; I didn't have the heart to tell that I was uncomfortable talking to her in secret.

As I learned more, it was VERY obvious that my brother is being an emotionally abusive asshole like he was to me when we were kids. He's said things that any other person would end a relationship over. He's very clearly in the wrong. If he were anyone else, I'd tell her to get away from that relationship asap but he's my brother, and I can't bring myself to say that. So, all the advice I've been giving has been pretty generic (which I feel terrible about doing because she doesn't deserve the shit he gives her). At this point, she's spoken to me so much and told me so much that If my bro finds out, he'd probably cut ties with me too. Since a few months she's not been calling me about this but I can tell whenever I visit that their not really all that solid.

I don't see their relationship working out and for her sake, I hope it doesn't. I just need advice on how to navigate this when he inevitably finds out about all this.

I know this was long, so thanks for reading. Please comment if anything is unclear and I'll edit. Thanks in advance!

Even though I'm outgoing and talkative, I feel like most of my friendships are fairly casual. I don't ever really talk about myself, my feelings, my struggles - even with people I've been friends with a long time. What's the best way to start being vulnerable and open with people, and finding people who I can confide in?

I think I'm fairly guarded about my emotions - most of my immediate family is. I've only ever had one person who I would consider a confidant, and that relationship has sort of atrophied since we moved to different places. I can talk for hours about philosophy, religion, mythology and a number of other topics I have a passing interest in, but I find it hard to talk about things that bother me, things I struggle with, etc.

For example, I've been struggling with procrastination at work. I semi-recently got a ADHD coach, and began taking medication for the first time - but I haven't really talked about it with any of my friends. I'm not sure if I'm "supposed to", really. My sister and one of my friends go to therapy, but they never really talk about it - what are the social expectations around this?

I got really overweight for a year or so after over 5 years of recovery and being healthy, I ended up losing a lot of weight really quick and relapsing(says my therapist). Anyways I posted a before and after on a subreddit because even though I have relapsed I was still proud I lost weight and wanted to share. I started getting comments like “more cushion for the pushin” and “still curvy” “still have a bit of fat but that’s okay” and they’ve made the relapse so much worse. I know at the end of the day it’s just comments on the internet but it makes me feel disgusting and uncomfortable in my body. Idk if I’m just sensitive or what😕

I do have a tendency to overthink things but I was just wondering if it’s normal that he flat out told me that he feels more comfortable talking to me about certain things than he does with his girlfriend.

TL;DR friend feels more comfortable talking with me than with his partner

This has been building up in me for so long, and I am afraid this will be novel-length by the time I get the entire complicated mess out. I hope it isn't too jumbled to make sense....

I married my husband when I was 18 and he had just turned 20. In retrospect, I think I married him just to have someone in my life. Our backgrounds were very different (I come from old money- I lacked for nothing in the "things" department but never had much by way of affection and became emancipated at 17; he was dirt poor from a blue collar family but they were all very family-oriented). I knew even then that I loved the idea of a loving spouse more than I loved him, but I still went through with it. I worked my way through my MBA and have a professional, high paying career that involves a lot of travel. He worked odd jobs in retail, mechanic shops, and call centers until he decided he preferred to be "the trophy husband" (his words, not mine). Shortly after that he was diagnosed as bipolar and has been on medication ever since. He hasn't worked since that day, about 9 years ago.

We have 6-year old twins. I love my son and daughter with all my heart, but conceiving them was 100% an accident and I wish to God it hadn't happened. For the last 6.5 years he has been a stay at home dad, but all that means is that he feeds the kids when I am not there and drives them where they need to be. All housework, maintenance, and laundry fall to me. If I am on a business trip, the cleaning, laundry, and dishes pile up and wait for my return.

Early on there were signs that I had made a terrible mistake- he constantly criticized me, pointed out flaws in my friends and reasons they weren't good enough for me, and was a general jerk to friends so that they didn't like being around us. He thinks I work too much, becoming enraged if my cell rings after 6:00. He has always had trouble holding a job, getting fired every year or two for calling out sick too many times from whatever job he was currently at. He has never been violent to me or the kids, but he yells a lot when I/ we do something he doesn't like, or if he feels like I am not paying enough attention to him, or the kids need help when I am not there and they interrupt his online chats or games. I've told him how much this bothers me, but he either says that I am crazy and just love to play the victim, or that what I am describing never happened. The kids are starting to mimic his tone and actions, which breaks my heart. I a

If you’re in such a bad place that you’re thinking of killing yourself but not at the point to where you’re in immediate danger of doing it, shouldn’t you be able to admit this, without being held against your will at a psychiatric facility that your insurance probably won’t cover, work won’t be happy about your absence at, where you’ll be given meds against your will and not allowed to leave?

What if I could admit this to a psychiatrist/therapist so that we can have a discussion about the most appropriate med + therapy combo to get me on the right track?

Because the idea of just trusting random mood stabilizing drugs being forced upon me as I’m whisked away from work and my daily life and not allowed to live my life or leave for 3 or more days wouldn’t exactly inspire me to ask for help in the future.

What if I could just be candid about how I feel so that I can get treated? Can’t imagine that I’m the only one who feels this way. Makes me feel horribly alone. How can I best be treated if I’m withholding this from my healthcare providers, when I’m not in immediate danger? Surely I’m not the only one who struggles, with this concept?

My husband and I have been married for nearly a decade. I wouldn’t say it has been an “easy” marriage but then I’m sceptical that there are any and before now I had never felt our commitment to one another has wavered.

We did take a temporary break about 3 years ago due to a difficult situation in his family and the accompanying stress. It was over MIL being invasive to the point that she’d call my husband when he and I were in bed together and ask “is OP there? Because I need to talk” and they’d go and have secret chats. I felt quite betrayed which caused us to fight and eventually husband asked me to leave our home.

I did so but it was clear neither of us had our heart in a separation and we’ve reconciled.

During our separation I was told by a mutual friend that his estranged brother had separated from his wife. I told husband this during a weekend we spent together during our separation. I swore him to secrecy because I didn’t want it to come back that it was me who had informed him (very tricky family dynamic on his side of the family) but I felt he should know because it’s his brother.

Today we were talking about this and husband informed me that he won’t guarantee to keep things secret. He did tell MIL about his brother because “they’re family”. My argument is that he and I are family too. Im not really bothered about him sharing that particular matter (his brother’s separation) but I feel it’s an important principle that I am able to talk to him freely.

He says he won’t keep things I say confidential if he doesn’t want to and I should trust his judgment on who he tells. This isn’t how I understand confidentiality, for example if close friends confide in me I would never tell anyone else (including husband). Isn’t that being trustworthy?

Personally I believe that, as spouses, we should be able to tell each other things and expect confidentiality. I don’t sit and chat with my family about our sex life for example and I feel he has no business sharing the state of my mind/health/secrets with his. Isn’t this the privilege of being in a relationship/married?

He said he won’t keep secrets from his family and I told him I can’t trust him if he will share anything i say when he wants to. I don’t understand how we can have open and honest communication if I never know who is going to know who’ll know what’s been said. Personally, I feel this makes him untrustworthy and I feel it may result in the end of our marriage but he believes this is reasona

Of course you’d need people around you during difficult times but using someone else as a crutch isn’t the way to go. It’s unfair to just dump it all onto someone, and keep doing it. I know that obviously there’s times where you just need to pour your heart out but it’s not something you should keep doing to a person as it starts affecting them a lot especially if they care about you.

It’s much better to form a support circle for yourself in your times of need. Of course there are things you’d only want to tell certain people life. Also you should be considerate of the people around you when they want to confide in someone and come to you with their problems. But you can’t just keep doing it as it’s as if it’s their duty to take on your burdens too. Its not about it being bothersome, it starts becoming too much to bear on the other person because at the end of the day everyone has problems.

Also therapy is a thing.

Hey. I've posted in this group beforehand, saying that I'm here to help people and I'm always here to listen. However, I've sort of realised that my own "problems" are getting out of hand. And I'm hoping that somebody can help me if its not too much trouble?

Personally, I'd rather not give out my issues on a public forum but it is something that's plagued me throughout my life. I've never told anybody about them, not my family and only 3 people know about them. One of those thanks to the fact that it affected her so I had to tell her.

I'm just worried it'll all get out of hand and I need all the help I can get. Anything would be appreciated...

I need this Weight off of my chest. I’ve been holding it in for to long. I need to talk to about my problems. What caused them. Tell me where I went wrong. Preferably someone who doesn’t judge. I’ve done a lot of reckless things in my short life. I just need someone to talk too.

New to this forum. My husband told me about affair 2 weeks ago. Posted my story to r/surviving infidelity and most people told me not to trust my husband anymore. However, I think my husband is willing to change and to be transparent. He has lied to me repeatedly over the last years, in addition to having a 2 month long affair 6 years ago when I was pregnant. He admitted the affair because he wanted to stop lying. We have been struggling in our relationship for the last 3 years, I have considered leaving and I have gotten a lot of support from my friends.

I don't want to leave him. Not now. I want to give him an opportunity to change. He is starting therapy and has already made other changes in his life in order to become a "family man" (changes in his career). I fear that he won't be able to change, but a part of me thinks he can.

I feel so alone with my thoughts and feelings. My closest friends are also my husbands friends and telling them about the affair will hurt him a lot and they might not be able to maintain the friendship. I want our families to be able to hang out in the future without it being really akward. But I miss someone to talk to. Someone that knows my husband well.

What to do? Any advise?

So I’ve been having mental issues for the last month or two and I felt like I wanted to try to confide in my friend about it but lately I have been having doubts about if we are really friends anymore. What should I do?

I really feel like I can’t talk to anyone about anything without getting some kind of judgement. I try my hardest to be open and understanding when people “confess” things to me, but why can’t I get that in return.

I can’t talk to my parents: I’m in an Asian household where nothing I do is enough and I should be striving for better. I can’t talk to my boyfriend: He comes from a background where no one talks about feelings and all I ever am to him is overly emotional. I can’t talk to my friends: Somehow someone tries to belittle me and either a) say I’m dumb for being in the situation in the first place or b) say my feelings are basically dramatic to the situation.

In any case. When I try opening up, someone invalidates my feelings and I end up just going quiet. I usually don’t even get to finish my story or my thought process. Sometimes I wish someone would just listen to me and support me. People feel things, certain emotions come and go, and time passes. But in that moment that’s what is felt. Why is it that no one I know let’s me just express what I feel.

Thanks for coming to my rant session.