It was so cold outside yesterday, that we took a man into our home, out of the kindness of our hearts...

We felt so sorry for him because the poor guy was completely covered in snow, but this morning, he had just vanished!

Not a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him!

The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor!

That's the thanks we get for being good to people?!

I'm warning all of you to watch out for this man!

He is a heavy set, white guy, wearing nothing but a scarf.

He has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny, they look like sticks.

Whatever you do, don't bring him into your house!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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How cold hearted.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daizal14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2021
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Convertibles are the most cold-hearted and merciless of cars

They're roofless!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppardee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2022
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Where does Queen Elsa keep her heart to make sure it stays cold?

In her ice chest!

Thought of this today, can’t wait to spring it on my 7yo when I see her after school

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbenjaminsmith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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why is it ok for an ice company to commit fraud?

Their assets are are already frozen

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icele_fox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2022
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What a COLD-hearted woman...
πŸ‘︎ 278
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaRomea
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Cold Hearted [oc]
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travischapmanart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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A hotel wanted to charge me extra for a room with airconditioning

I wasn't cool with that

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jappie_nl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2023
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My Latin professor absolutely hated it when people used Latin phrases incorrectly

And vice versa

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sr00ttek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2022
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I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas

She said perhaps we could put the heating on? I said I wasn’t thinking of spending that much

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/surreynot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2022
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What’s the coldest letter in the alphabet?

B - it’s between the AC

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShasNasty
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2022
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

Halfway

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fellerpotter
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2022
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Why is the snowman getting a divorce?

Well his wife was a total flake.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coop41321
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2022
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Three boys go into a haunted house

They snuck from their beds in the middle of the night and met in the gloomy darkness in front of the house, shivering in the cold.

The first boy said in a loud whisper, "You guys bring anything?" He slid a gun out of his pocket. The second boy nodded and revealed a knife. The third boy pulled out a flashlight.

"You didn't bring a weapon?" the first boy asked. He shrugged and replied, "Sorry". And as if to prove it, he turned his pockets out to show nothing but stray lint and a pack of cough drops.

They crept in. The door shut behind them. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. The flash light clicked on. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door on the other side, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a dead body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They found a fully set, ornate dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal goblets, pitchers and silverware adorned the table. Spiders crept over ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hel

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
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Why did everybody love Frozen

Elsa had a heart of cold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knoopknoop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Son says to dad..

Son: Why is the food cold and bland today papa..?

Dad: It's because your mom puts her heart and soul into what she cooks son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/--_--__--___--
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
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Dad after watching the movie Frozen

Hans really made some bad decisions and is very cold-hearted. I guess from now on he'll be Hans Solo.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apkorol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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