sorry brazilbros
>After three, after four times
Why did I bother?
Tell me how many more times
Does it take to get smarter?
Don't need to deny the hurt and the lies
And all of the things you did to me
I swear, I know you did
Those lyrics came to my mind these days. I have taken a break for PES MyClub Matchday for a few days. Played AC Vahalla and enjoyed beautiful Ireland where I lived for 5 years once and were my daughter was born.
On Monday I said give it a go again. And already after the first game I was upset and my bloodpressure went up. Mostly because of the same ol' BS that happens all the time:Kick Off Glitch, Heavy tackling, fouls from behind - the usual BS. The more I am thinking about it, that more I come to the conclusion, that it is just not worth to play a game online. It seems as soon as people are involved there will be BS, because 95% of mankind are true idiots.
Well the biggest idiot indeed is typing these lines. How stupid can one be to try over and over again. Obviously at least as stupid as me. Well I changed the camera, enjoyed the view, looked more like real football and somethow it felt good, but nor for long....
First game 3 times through on goal in the first 15 missed by a mile. IM Inzaghi should have at least made one. More shots in the second half, all wide or post - courtesy of IM Gullit and IM MvB. Blatent to say the opponent scored with his first "shot", in " because it was not even a real shot. He shot on my keeper feat. Donnarumma and Donna pushed it straigt to one of his players in the 5m box, that one did not even score properly but somehow it went in. At the is was 9 shots for me and 3 for the guy. I lost 0:1.
The next game was even worst, van Basten hit the post, Gullit a header against the bar. I should have one that one by chances too but I lost 0:3. I swore I could have played on both games for an hour, I would not have scored.
If you say now, maybe the other camera angle did irritate me, well I switched back in the meantime and nothing improved.
The topping on the cake were truely the last two games. first a guy from Uruguay (that I had already blocked on both Xbox and PES due to his lag) . Why does Konami still let me get matched with peope blocked on my Xbox list or in PES, why don't they at least let my decide if I want to play against 1 or 2 bars? Where is the fairness gone?
the same laggy shit, could not do anything. Everyball bounced by a mile, the guy was always a step ahead, there was nothing I could to
... keep reading on reddit ➡As I type this I'm staring down a long list of self-help. Books, YouTube channels, the works. Many of which I've meticulously read and summarized. But there's so many yet to go.
Surely the next one will be the key that will turn me into the person I want to be. That will bring me the success I want. Like I'm addicted to the high of reading a new book, a new perspective. YES! I get pumped and ready to ... do nothing in particular.
A couple of things became clear to me in that moment of realization:
- I'm already successful. I've vastly improved my social skills, built an enviable career, and have shocked friend & foe alike with several accomplishments — the latest being getting a bachelor's degree magna cum laude while holding a full time job.
- Books help sometimes, but the best way to learn is to do the fucking thing, fail, and try again.
- Everyone's path is different. I can't possibly hope to imitate someone else and get the same outcome, too many variables. I'll have to carve my own way there.
I'm done.
And finally liberated. Liberated to do the things I love. Free to jump into the unknown.
I guess you could say I'm bye curious.
