Childeric III Puns

Or was there a more immoral impetus such as bribery afoot?

I'm referring to the argument as stated by Wikipedia, "asking whether the title of king belonged to the one who had exercised the power or the one with the royal lineage."

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

I would have a daughter

Capital of Ireland

It's Dublin everyday

http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz

But Bill kept the Windows

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

You officially hit rock bottom

And then you will all be sorry.

No it doesn't.

Now it’s syncing.

How is everyone doing? Bryan here sliding back into you preiphery with a new episode of Ninebullets Radio. There is some fun stuff up in this show. If bass lines like the Violent Femmes, keys like the Murder City Devils and a general punk feel strikes your fancy you’ll wanna get on that Jeremy Porter & The Tucos track. Have some tracks from new (to me) artists: Logan Halstead, Elise Davis and Kenny Fielder as well as some familiar faves like: Lucero, Big Shoals, Cody Jinks and The Vandoliers.
So. Give the show 80 minutes and I bet you will find something that makes you tap your feet.

Go here: 📷https://www.9bradio.net/ninebullets-radio-an-americana.../

Hear This:

1. Elizabeth Cook - Thick Georgia Woman (Aftermath)
2. Jeremy Porter And The Tucos - Put You On Hold (Candy Coated Cannonball)
3. Elise Davis - Lady Bug (Anxious.Happy. Chill.)
4. Kenny Feidler - Blue Light Special (Blue Light Special)
5. Logan Halstead - Dark Black Coal (Single)
6. Tyler Childers - Nose on the Grindstone (OurVinyl Sessions)
7. Addison Johnson - Barely Gettin' By (Darkside of the Mountain)
8. Brad Paisley - You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive (Part II)
9. Kasey Anderson - Just Kids (Let The Bloody Moon Rise)
10. Vandoliers - Waiting On A Train (Single)
11. Morgan Wade - Reckless (Reckless)
12. Cody Jinks - Rock and Roll (Unplugged) (Single)
13. Two Cow Garage - Swingset Assassin (Speaking In Cursive)
14. Drayton Farley - Pitchin' fits (A Hard Up Life)
15. John R. Miller - Faustina (Single)
16. Don Pedigo - Young & Dead (16 Ton)
17. Big Shoals - Twelve Steps (Still Go On)
18. Hope Dunbar - What Were You Thinking? (Sweetheartland)
19. Lucero - Back In Ohio (When You Found Me)
20. 49 Winchester - Long Hard Life (III)

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

I will find you. You have my Word.

“thank you for your cervix.”

...sails are going through the roof.

Because he wanted space

Edit: Thank you for the awards.

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

A taxi

But now I stand corrected.

He thought homes were built, not born.

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

Wookie mistake.

Theoretical Fizz-ics

Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark

I said, “That makes two of us.”

Now he’s a great grandfather

so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.