Check out this brief clip from Marilu Henner's old talk show from the mid-1990s, with Burt Reynolds and Charles Nelson Reilly as guests. They talk with four former students at the Burt Reynolds Institute in Florida, including Matt Battaglia (from Twin Peaks S2 and S3) and Brent Briscoe (from S3 and Mulholland Dr.). Just kind of an interesting throwback to early in their careers...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlkbBXZzCmc
https://preview.redd.it/jbx8hkooy6581.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3980c284950b152c71b01435c51f266aae67cc2
May he rest in peace.
I think he fit the part really well, sucks he had to pass away.
Tom does a decent empression, but I don't think he is quite as good as the original. Also for some of you who might not know, CNR also voiced the bubble in a video game too.
Be me, Charles Nelson Reilly, a joke character loosely based on a comedian from the 70s, more solidly based on the Weird Al song CNR. He's a lawful neutral monk/wizard multiclass ("Ninja warrior, master of disguise, he could melt your brain with his laser beam eyes"). I have also been playing him to the hilt according to the song (most things are grand exaggerations, but a few things are true, which I will get to in a moment).
Be not me, a candy loving dragon-born known as David. David is none too bright, having suffered exhaustion from eating nothing but candy and refusing to sleep in a bed (even a nice one at the nicest inn he can afford).
Also be not me, a party that includes a druid gnome and a social justice minotaur.
Earlier in the campaign, in an effort to scold David for doing some really stupid shit (specifically, messing with some really strong fairy folk who were guarding a tree full of fruit), Charles threw a dart at him. Charles only wounded David, but that's all he wanted to do. David kept the dart, thinking it was a piece of candy(?!).
Fast forward a couple of sessions.
The party had just finished a fight against some war machines turned farming implements. Back in the village, Charles decides he's going to make some money. This is where the song comes into play.
"Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings as a potent aphrodisiac".
Charles fills a bag full of toenail clippings and attempts to sell them to a pair of women the DM refers to as "Karens".
Charles rolls poorly and neither of the Karens buys it. Karen One begins to call for guards. No big deal, Charles can talk his way out of it, and if not the fine would be a slap on the wrist.
Karen One drops dead in front of Charles.
shocked Pikachu.gif
Charles looks back and sees David booking it. David was trying to hit Charles with his own dart, but due to his exhaustion was rolling at disadvantage and rolls a nat one, missing Charles entirely and killing Karen One.
Charles gives a full statement, narcing out his fellow party member. Charles follows David to a dingy tavern where gnome druid and SJM are drinking.
David confesses to killing the Karen, but attempts to frame Charles, "It was his dart!" Gnome and SJM are having none of it.
Gnome and SJM beat the shit out of David. Charles comes in and clocks David over the head with a finishing blow of the non-lethal kind. SJM ties David up and takes him to the nearest guard station. We all give statements, David ends up in j
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Charles Nelson Reilly is an actor and TV personality best known for his role as a panelist on the 70's game show Match Game. But more importantly, he is, according to Weird Al Yankovic, a total badass. Badass enough that Al felt it necessary to record a song (specifically a pastiche of the White Stripes) extolling CNR's various abilities. According to Weird Al, Charles Nelson Reilly has the following traits and abilities:
- 8 feet tall
- Ability to consume extreme amounts of matter with no ill effects ("he can eat more frozen waffles than any other man I know), his digestive tract is extremely durable and produces enormous amounts of pressure ("He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds every day"), and he is able to unhinge his jaw to devour objects up to the size of a Volkswagen.
- Some sort of "charm person" effect that makes people positively disposed towards him even as he assaults them (" He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway")
- An ability to train animals to do complex tasks ("He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry")
- Superhuman speed, strength, and endurance ("won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain", "ran a four minute mile blindfolded with an engine block strapped to his back")
- Ability to remove a person's heart fast enough to show it to them before they die
- Ninja Warrior
- Master of Disguise
- Brain-Melting Laser beam eyes
- Toenail clippings function as Aphrodisiac (or can at least be sold as such)
- Extreme durability (fell off the Chrysler building and barely even stubbed his toe)
- High intelligence (figured out Cold Fusion, something that modern science has yet to attain)
Who's the strongest character he could take in a fight?
Round 1: CNR is armed with a shovel, piggyback riding on Gene Rayburn, and is accompanied by a trained rattlesnake and a manatee.
Round 2: CNR gets additional feats shown in the music video:
- Ability to kill a moose with a spin-kick
- gains a trained polar bear masseuse
- immune to gunfire, flamethrowers, explosions, cats, and being blasted threw brick and metal walls
- Riding a T-Rex
- ability to grow 50 feet tall
- extremely long, prehensile tongue
- can swim upstream
John Wick is given the opportunity to rejoin the Continental on one condition: He assassinate american comedian Charles Nelson Reilly, but not just the man who voiced The Dirty Bubble, but the man described in the Weird Al song "CNR" where he is described to have the following feats:
- Eight feet tall
- Eats his own weight in coal and excretes diamonds everyday
- Won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain
- Trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry
- Able to rip out a beating heart
- Brain melting laser beam eyes
- Ran a four minute mile blindfolded with an engine block strapped to his back
- Fell off the Chrysler building and barely even stubbed his toe
- Figured out cold fusion
- Has the ability to unhinge his jaw and swallow a volkswagen whole
Round 1: CNR is unaware that Wick is after him, while Wick has access to all weapons and vehicles that either he or the Continental owns. However, Wick must act alone.
Round 2: Wick can work with anyone in the Continental, CNR can work with anyone who has appeared on Match Game.
Round 3: 1v1 bloodlust arena where each combatant can bring in whatever they can fit in their cargo pants
The obvious ____ is black. I believe the African American male on the panel is Nipsey if my memory serves right. Charles makes a very heartfelt and serious speech about how he views everyone as equal and and worthy of respect - ends it with a ”so I said Jewish!” crowd loses it and Nipsey says something to the effect of ”I was just about to thank you too”
It as posted onto youtube as ”Match game RACIST JOKE” Back in 2008 but its been wiped.
Charles Nelson Reilly is resurrected and restored to the prime of his youth, and then granted all the feats and abilities as outlined in Weird Al's "CNR" song. These include:
Commanding respect ("The kind of man you'd never disrespect")
Standing Eight Feet (2.43 meters) in height.
Poor vision (not specified if he's near sighted or far sighted, or how severe it is) as he "wore glasses."
A third nipple on the back of his neck.
Eats his weight in coal every day (at 8 feet tall, average build, that's probably 450-500 pounds) and pass the waste as diamonds.
The ability to compel unwavering love, as "He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway"
Insanity (no type defined) "I'm telling you the man was insane"
Some interesting feats and achievements include: Winning the tour de france with two flat tires and a missing chain (perhaps on sheer momentum?)
Exceptional animal taming/training skills, as he trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry.
Forcing the host of Match Game to give him a 2 hour piggyback ride. Not specified if this is before or after eating 450 pounds of diamonds (which would also be a strength and endurance feat for the host of Match Game) - likely using his powers of respect and love, rather than coercion and fear.
He made love to a manatee, on at least one occasion.
He's also a capable ninja warrior, with all the abilities and equipment that comes with that.
And he's a master of disguise (so he could be anybody!)
He also has laser eyes ("He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes")
Additionally, he demonstrates pretty solid speed feats, strength feats, and endurance feats. Notably, running a four minute mile with an engine block (300-500 pounds) strapped to his back. No indication if this was before or after filling up on coal, but, including his own weight, he could potentially be moving 1200+ pounds at 15 miles per hour.
He has incredible, anime-level eating capacity. In addition to the coal feat, he also on at least one occasion swallowed a volkswagen whole. The smallest VW could be either a Polo or a Golf. A gold weighs around 2500 pounds.
And he was rumored to eat a substantial quantity of frozen waffles ("He could eat more frozen waffles than any other man I know")
He's quick to anger, ("He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star") but also highly intelligent, and selfish (" Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion
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