"Country!"
They say it’s a corona lite virus now.
What do you call a guy with a thermal injury to his patella?
>!Bernie!<
But I slid out of contention.
Liverpool
It's enormous. It seems likes it's been around forever. It is growing every day. It's something that will be passed onto our children and grandchildren.
I was outraged.
Oops, wrong sub.
It was rubbish
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
I've never seen its balls, but people keep saying it's a Balled Eagle
they don't steep around
Me: I think it's in...... Francis Scott key.
True story
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
When the ships are returned to port, it helps them Scandinavian.
The assistant asked me, “Will you be putting that up yourself?” I replied, “hell no, I’ll be putting it up in my living room.”
A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.
This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...
Someone posted it about a weak back.
"Ammonia cleaner." She replied. I said, "Sorry, I thought you worked here."
They said, “Oh, a mass shooting.”
Amerkin.
“Come in, make a seat”
Oops, wrong sub.
I said no honey, I said I was into resting.
I wish I could post a picture here, but it says, "Dad Jokes are how eye roll."
It's a meta-Dad joke. I'm so proud of her!
The bartender says, “pal, if you want punch, you’ll need to get in line.”
The guy looks around and there is no punch line.
He asked about the neutral wire.
I said "don't worry, its just a phase."
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
But hey, at least he gave a shit.
It was my climb-it change.
"Can't turn that down."
People lined up for blocks.
G : what type of apples grow on trees ?
my dumbass : idk red and green ?
G : all of them do
wheezes
Marriage
, but I'm not one to question it, and I can't deny it was great Serenghetti.
It was littering.
I told the arresting officer "I could explain everything."
Hard core park ore
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
A gummy bear.
.. but all I got was 20,000 matches.
The assistant asked me, “Will you be putting that up yourself?” I replied, “No, I’ll be putting it up in my living room.”
