Call in a hostage ne-goat-iator.
They're brought to the chief and the chief says "go pick three pieces of fruit each" so they go off and they pick three pieces of fruit. the first photographer that gets back has three apples. "and now" says the chief "you have to stick them up your ass without showing any emotion" so he tries, and he gets the first Apple halfway in there he screams in pain and is shot and killed. the second guy walks up and he has three cherries the Chief tells him to do the same thing so he gets the first one in there no problem the second one in there no problem and then he laughs and is shot and killed. and so the first photographer says to the second "why did you laugh" and he says "because I saw Mike walking up with three pineapples"
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
Now all I’m China do is to survive
Cannibal 1: We should boil him!
Cannibal 2: We should roast him on a spit!
Cannibal 3: No! Can’t you see he’s a Friar?!
Experts say it is the best yeti!
Because very rarely is a medium well done.
When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather
"vee haf vays of making you tock!"
Photowitnesses
They were harboring a fugitive.
The canibals say that they will be killed and their skin will be made into a canoe, and that they can choose how they die. The first one jumps off a rock, the second one cuts his throat. The third one takes a fork, starts stabing himself and yelling 'NO CANOE FOR YOU!"
He came walking out of his tailor's shop and I followed suit.
The sheriff of Knottingham was the one who got him.
He was caught sleeping on his watch.
They made sure he was defeeted.
