Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".
(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")
Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....
They both destroy ships
Water shame
He was fired recently.
Starting to worry it’s not stroganoff 🤦🏻♂️
Because if they swallowed, it'd be cannonballism.
He was blown apart.
They couldn't find another man of his caliber.
Unemployed.
I have had a Canon printer for years.
It was linoleum blownapart
Cannonball
Pirate Captain: “Are...”
A sea captain hunted for his white whale for decades. When he finally came upon it, a storm roared to life and began to toss his ship to and fro. A cannon came loose and crushed his leg.
He got the whale, and left behind a legacy.
((Work in progress. Just came to me during a conversation over a game of cards. Feedback welcome.))
He was fired
They thought it was cannon to the story.
Because of the Corn-iolis Effect
...but I got fired
A canon canon cannon
I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???
One could say he was cannonized,
Cannon balls.
Yesterday started a new motocross season for my nephew, so for his inaugural race a bunch of family went to watch him. I'm an amateur/hobbyist photographer so I brought my telephoto zoom lens out and my Canon body to get a few shots of him on the track. The assembled camera is about 18 inches in length. After putting it together:
Mom (first seeing it): Holy crap! That thing looks like a damn cannon!
Me: (pointing to the label) You sure know your cameras, it is a Canon!
Typical dad joke responses ensued.
We were watching a movie about the Battle at Wounded Knee, and it went something like this- "Fire at will!" (Commander) -scene changes to a man being hit by a cannon shot- "Oh no, they hit Will!!!" I think I was the only one who laughed.
Two guys show with these big guns ready to fire out into the crowd! This kid asks if they are slime cannons, I said no, they're t-shirt cannons!
My girlfriend turns around and says nah its Nick Cannon..
I'm just surprised I didn't say it before she did.
He was blown apart.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
A canon canon cannon
One could say he was cannonized.
