I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Buenosdillas
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
update 11/30/21: Rosco is doing very well after his second discharge. No growling this time, but very affectionate and cuddly. Still straining to urinate but I was told that was normal for a few days. They now have him on Prozasin, Gabapentin, Buprenorphine and an antibiotic because on top of urethral obstruction, he has a Lower Urinary Tract Infection. It makes me nervous because recovery symptoms and re-blockage symptoms are extremely similar signs but I have high hopes he will make a full recovery this time around.
(apologize for the long post). Basically what the title says.
I noticed my 1 year old male cat Rosco wasn't urinating right on Wednesday night. Called the emergency vet, they told us to bring him in because blockages can be fatal. He wasnβt fully blocked but had a urinary obstruction, he was there for 48 hours, sedated, had a catheter placed, and then monitored for another day to make sure he was urinating on his own OK. He came home on Friday and was alrightβ¦ the Prozasin had his muscles relaxed so he couldnβt control his blatter. He was peeing on himself but wasnβt producing much urine.
Yesterday morning (Saturday), about 1 hour after redose of medication, he was trying to pee and could not. His penis was retracting/throbbing from trying to force his urine out. We took him back in, heβs there for a second blockage and has to stay another 48 hours.
Has anyone been through this before? Emergency vet said no more kibble, only wet food, and I read about having to probably switch to a veterinarian kitty diet, Hillβs or Royal Canin. How do I make him more comfortable at home for aftercare? I have puppy pads everywhere, litter boxes spread throughout the house although we are planning to keep him in our bedroom when he is released. I have water bowls throughout the house. He is not fond of the cone whatsoever and itβs sad to watch him fail at maneuvering around but I know it must stay on to bring him to full recovery. So I guess my question is, any advice or input on how to bring my baby back to full health and make him comfortable in hopes he doesnβt become reblocked (I know thereβs a high possibility it will happen a 3rd time, if it does I think we will be taking the surgery routeβ¦ thank goodness for Pet Insurance or my partner and I would be having a different conversationβ¦ itβs been $6,000 so far.) Thank you!
Why
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
