Can't Believe Puns

A list of puns related to "Can't Believe"

I can't believe we sent the sun's god to the moon over 50 years before we sent Artemis, the moon's god.

We should Apollogize.

edit: doh. Thanks, knight-errant52 in your shining armor

👍︎ 408
💬︎
👤︎ u/prybot
📅︎ Nov 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory:

all I did was take a day off...

👍︎ 8k
💬︎
👤︎ u/danielsoft1
📅︎ Jun 28 2022
🚨︎ report
Can't believe I got a hole in my favourite shoes. I guess it's true what they say...

... time wounds all heels.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/xholdsteadyx
📅︎ Oct 18 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe it's been more than 100 years since Einstein proved time is relative.

Feels just like yesterday.

👍︎ 88
💬︎
👤︎ u/wafflecheese
📅︎ Aug 31 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I paid $300 to rent a limo without realizing the rental doesn't include a driver.

Now I've got nothing to chauffeur it!

👍︎ 182
💬︎
👤︎ u/svanvalk
📅︎ Aug 11 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe they are letting off fireworks this early..

It's not even Halloween yet.. and my dog is already hiding under the Christmas tree!

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/JohnEnni
📅︎ Oct 08 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

👍︎ 9k
💬︎
👤︎ u/ENJOYblet
📅︎ Jan 05 2022
🚨︎ report
I just broke my guitar , can't believe it....

But it's ok, I won't fret

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/aoc_ftw
📅︎ Aug 12 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I cut a piece of wood just by looking at it

But I saw it with my own eyes.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/SeaMajor7
📅︎ Jul 23 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I forgot to go to gym today.

That makes it 5 years in a row now.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/ExtraSure
📅︎ Jul 11 2022
🚨︎ report
I cant believe through all the shit they’ve been through, they’re still together….

“Who?”

My ass cheeks.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/muffinkat55
📅︎ Apr 19 2022
🚨︎ report
I tripped coming out of the store, can't believe I got arrested for that...

I asked the cop why, he said "fell on knee".

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/SmoothG80
📅︎ May 19 2022
🚨︎ report
Wife: I can't believe we're going to see Céline Dion tonight, what should I wear?

Me: Earplugs.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/ahandmadegrin
📅︎ Apr 08 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe people keep coughing without covering their face.

It makes me sick.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/GameSpection
📅︎ Apr 04 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe my son's diapers.

They're full of shit.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Onoma_Khristi
📅︎ Apr 19 2022
🚨︎ report
Can't believe this didn't start here
👍︎ 624
💬︎
👤︎ u/Red_Tannins
📅︎ Jul 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm so ashamed ofmyself. I cant believe I've gained soooo much weight!!!

Can you believe I use to weigh 7lbs 4oz

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/Kable35
📅︎ Feb 18 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife can't believe that I made a loaf of bread in my baking therapy course.

But I really kneaded that.

👍︎ 22
💬︎
👤︎ u/ThusSpokeGaba
📅︎ Aug 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Can't believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Truly a capitalist society.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/kumarshumar
📅︎ Jan 04 2022
🚨︎ report
I don't know what they use to fill butt implants, but I hope it's called I Can't Believe It's Not Booty.

I made up that joke. I know it's terrible.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/EightGodzillas
📅︎ Nov 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad: I can't believe they're still together after all the shit they've been through.

Me: Who are you talking about?

Dad: My butt cheeks!

An actual conversation I just had with my dad in which I did face palm and yelled "Son of a bitch!"

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/Ctrl-Alt-Xanax
📅︎ Dec 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I just dated a german nationalist! But I guess it's obvious, looking back on it

I mean, there were red flags all over the place

👍︎ 71
💬︎
👤︎ u/Version_Two
📅︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe this is legal
👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/ElyjaGamingYT
📅︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My son said "I can't believe what happens to milk when you churn it"

I said to him "you butter believe it"

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/RodimusMajor84
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.

Like seriously, how low can you go ?

👍︎ 120
💬︎
👤︎ u/BogdanAnime
📅︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I cant believe they removed the word gullible from the dictionary.

I checked.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/CrownedHeads
📅︎ Oct 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Can't believe Van Helsing managed to kill Dracula.

The entire time he was out for the Count.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/AHoboInSpace
📅︎ Aug 18 2021
🚨︎ report
cant believe they fired me from the clock factory... with all those extra hours I put in...
👍︎ 4k
💬︎
👤︎ u/dothepropellor
📅︎ Dec 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet

Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks

👍︎ 39
💬︎
👤︎ u/Da_Brootalz
📅︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I've become attracted to statues...

Now I've really hit rock bottom.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
👤︎ u/DrowsyDuck005
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: "I can't believe 2007 was 10 years ago."

Kid: "It wasn't..."

Dad: "I know. That's why I don't believe it."

👍︎ 90
💬︎
👤︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
📅︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I left my phone at Wal-Mart.

Thank goodness I had to go back and get my kid!

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/bourbonpens
📅︎ Jul 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe how rapidly I went from having a complete and impressive mullet to being bald!

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe that somebody stole my protections spells.

I'm at a loss for wards.

👍︎ 43
💬︎
👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker
📅︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe in Drano anymore...

I found out it was a lye...

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/Vin135mm
📅︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my dad, "I can't believe I failed my biology exam."

He said, "I'm your mum."

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe we still make pennies when it costs more than they're worth.

It makes no cents.

👍︎ 194
💬︎
👤︎ u/wolfavino
📅︎ Apr 08 2017
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
👤︎ u/cockneybastard
📅︎ Aug 13 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe

That it's not butter.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/usdabeef
📅︎ Mar 02 2022
🚨︎ report
can't believe they are still together.. even after all the shit they have been through. who?

Your butt cheeks

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/Traditional-Soup2681
📅︎ Jan 06 2022
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I forgot to go to gym again.

That makes it 4 years now.

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/ExtraSure
📅︎ Jul 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I just got fired from the calendar factory...

All I did was take a day off.

👍︎ 60
💬︎
👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

👍︎ 108
💬︎
👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory!!!

all I did was take a day off

👍︎ 17
💬︎
👤︎ u/shadoslayer1
📅︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Can't believe 2020 is already over.

Feels like yesterday.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
👤︎ u/TotoBabaDonk
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I was fired from the calendar factory!

All I did was take a day off!

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/Mickets
📅︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...

Seriously, how low can you go?

👍︎ 17
💬︎
👤︎ u/Vectorix36
📅︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.