CBS Puns

It’s called “2 Baroque Girls”.

I said "10/4, good buddy."

Because he’s a commentator.

"NASA announced today that it has space for new astronauts."

Because that is all you see, BS.

I replied "10/4, good buddy."

"Would you rather be Dan, or Dan Rather?"

I... I don't even know.

Lee County, FL, local news announced the arrest of Richard Freshwater.

Reporter: "Officials say they've been searching for Freshwater for over a month."

My Dad: "Damn, they must've been really thirsty."

To prevent others from Seein’ In.

and he asks me if I wanted it cut around the back

I replied no its fine to do it here

My son was singing one of the songs from the Lion King. I thought it sounded weird so I asked, "Are those real words?"

My daughter said, "Yep. They're all in the dictionary."

I couldn't be prouder!

Looks like they sell a lot more than just ice in there

Once upon a time in the 80’s, the religious supreme ruler of a middle eastern country fled outside military forces seeking to strip him of his power using whatever means necessary. Fearing for his life, he was secretly smuggled into the US where he reluctantly shaved his beard and attempted to blend in.

He successfully went native and got an apartment, and soon realized he needed a job to pay for food and rent. He didn't want to do any sort of manual labor or serve others, as he craved comfortable control. He eventually became a toll booth operator, where he enjoyed sitting in his high chair, making people pay him so that he would grant them passage. Over time he grew bold and began to use his own judgment on what vehicles would pay him for his blessing to cross.

One day, two semi-tractor trailer beverage trucks were in his line, a Pepsi truck in front, and a Coke truck behind. The Pepsi truck pulled up and he said "Pepsi truck, you may pass for free." The Pepsi truck driver happily accepted, and over his CB radio told the Coke truck driver “This guy just let me through for free!”. When the Coke truck pulled up, hoping to also pass for free, the toll booth dictator said "Coke truck, you will pay me 100 of your American dollars."

The Coke truck driver was livid, and said "You let that Pepsi truck pass for free! You want me to pay 100 dollars?! That’s outrageous! I am going to report this! What is your name?!" Our toll booth operator proudly replied "Ayatollah Cokemainly."