How do you get a country girls attention?

A Tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 294
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to like you?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The-MEGA-O
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Farm machinery nerd

Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made. They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors. 5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find. The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition, He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors. Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke. Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away. His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat, He explains. Simple I'm An Ex tractor fan.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orcamarine
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Unfortunate events

There was this guy, mid to late twenties, black hair, just average next door type of guy. Mind you, he's not a dad yet. He's a honest worker who worked his way up in his job and makes a decent living for a man of his age. When he was a kid he was not extremely sharp and people would make fun of his stupidity. But he didn't care about that. He gave all he could and went abroad to get the best education from the best university of his time. He graduated top of the class. The he came back to his home town, got a job and fell in love with a beautiful young girl. They were about to get married but unfortunately for some reason god went "hmmm he's doing good for someone his age, better have small chat with him" and took him and he dropped dead just days before his wedding day. The bride who was about to get married to that man was absolutely devasted. She was so in love but unfortunately that didn't end well. She shut herself off from the world and cried every night. Lucky, for her the man left all he earned to be passed on to her if he happened to pass away before her. Then after a year of grieving the girl pulled herself out of her sadness and seclusion and bought a nice house for herself and settled there. But she never got married or made love The on one nice evening the women decided to go to the nearest pub and get some social interaction. She saw this young lad drinking booze all by himself and noticed he kinda looked sad. The lady decided to talk to that guy because she knew how miserable sadness can be. So she initiated a convo with that young lad. The lad took notice of the effort and kind heart of the lady and decided to share his life story, how he grew up in farm house and how he loved farming and all. He was rather peculiar about tractors and such farm equipments, spoke like someone describing about their love of their life. The lady noticed his love for his profession and inquired more. He went on to talk about tractors and all and how he dreamt of riding one when he was a kid and everything. He proceeded to tell how a few years ago a terrible accident made him hate the very tractors he loved as a kid. For someone who inquired more, the lady got tired of hearing about farm equipments and decided to call her day off and told the guy she's going to head back to her house. It was late night about half past 10 and so the lad offered to walk her home. The lady and the lad started to walk down the sub urbs, where the houses were distant and people occup

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uberdumb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farmer's daughter?

You a tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/macuser06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaan_Man
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/___statik
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you land a country girl?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinosaurs-in-love
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.

Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farmer’s daughter to like you?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:

Yeah, I tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierraann0402
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How do u seduce a farm girl?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xzander3112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I know that we've promised you a car, but we know what you really want."

He leads him outside, to a brand new tractor with a bow on it, saying that this is his welcome to adulthood.

Tom is beyond excited, and spends the next few months going everywhere in his tractor - grocery trips, bars, classes, friends' houses.....

Again, a few years later, Tom is driving down a back country road, in the middle of nowhere, with his tractor, in the middle of a storm. The tractor breaks down, and with no air conditioning or any form of modern comforts, Tom is in a miserable mood until someone finally comes past for him to flag down for help. After this, Tom realises that although tractors are fun, maybe they're not the best transport method out there.

Tom ages through a few more years, and finds himself driving down another road in the middle of nowhere in his car, and sees a house on fire just off the road. Being a good samaritan, he pulls over and heads up the driveway to a woman running out of the house screaming "Please, help, help! My baby is trapped in there! Go and call 911, please!"

Tom turns around, then, before leaving, has a brainwave.

He turns back and walks towards the flames, saying "Don't worry, ma'am, I've got this."

He takes a deep breath in, and the fire disappears into nothingness. As you'd expect, the woman is in awe, and asks, "Oh my God, how did you do that?!"

Tom simply responds, "Well you see ma'am, I'm an extractor fan."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?

A tractor beam

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cranky_Windlass
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer do when he lost his wife?

He tractored down.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you earn a date with a farmers daughter?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WBFY
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girls attention?

A Tractor

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmberRose29
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor !!

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremyleeb
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yer-Da
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Actual_Tom
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know how to get a farm girl to like you?

Simple, A tractor!

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

First, a tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer get his wife?

He a tractor

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benjo-drums
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 240
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Milspec1974
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LSUGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girlfriend?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zen_of_Chaos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

Where is my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tronkfool
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 157
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lora_Gev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharkolan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his missing wife?

He tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a date with a farmer's daughter?

You a tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The new fan in my bathroom came from a farm

It’s an ex-tractor fan

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NZn3rd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you pick up a country girl?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marblechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theProbablyPolicy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan?

I dont like tractors any more

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matmanlives
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
John went deer hunting but he couldn’t find his doe, so he

Tractor

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say while looking for his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fdharp0803
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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