C Station Puns

He decides that it's boring and gets on his phone to kill time. He doesn't pay attention and the train collides with a train car that was left on the tracks killing all 70 of the passengers on board. At trial he is sentenced to death by electrocution and requests a singular banana. When he goes to the chair he is strapped in, but survives and is released because the judge thinks that the man was saved by God. The man gets a job at another station but gets bored and crashes that train killing all 80 passengers on board. He is once again sentenced to die and requests two bananas for his last meal and survives the electric chair again and is released. Once again he somehow gets a job conducting a train and this time he kills 90 people. He is once again sentenced to death but the guards refuse to give him bananas for his last meal because they think that he is somehow using them to survive. He is strapped in and the guards flip the switch but he still somehow survives. This time the judge decides to just sentence him to life, but just before he is taken to his cell the guard asks him.

"How have you been surviving all these times? I thought it was the bananas."

The man said: "Wait, you haven't found out yet? I'm just not a good conductor."

So there's this girl who works at a gas station close by, and she always seems slightly annoyed. I dont take offense because I can tell it isnt directed toward me. So today I go in and ask for 2 packs of my favorite smokes, and she asks; shorts? I say no, I have pants on today. First time I've ever seen her laugh or smile

The bus station

On my desk, I have a work station.

Most went to the Gulf station but one went to the Esso station which goes to prove that there’s an Esso bee in every crowd.

A BP station

A BP station

You shouldn't open windows on a space station

My Pc asked me if it would ever be like a PlayStation or Xbox.

I told him no.

he's Inconsoleable.

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

A little bit of Background information:  When I was a young lad, my father was a professional glass cleaner.   Not just for a job, cleaning Glass was this man's passion!  He always wanted me to take over for him when I grew up, but I always thought it would be a pain, it was a silly job, really.   However, I knew that my father would be shattered if I didn't put an honest effort into the cleaning business.    The first time I perfectly cleaned a mirror, I realized I could really see myself doing this!   My father was wiping away tears of pride when I began to become as passionate as he was.

Anyways, fast forward to a couple months ago.   I have taken over my father's cleaning company, and was working a job at a publishing agency.  Now, due to the pandemic, this building had set up different entry points depending on the purpose of your visit, and each one was gated and stationed by an employee so you could have your temperature taken and go through a checklist to ensure you don't have any symptoms, etc.

After finishing the contract at this building, the owner was so impressed with my work that he said he would like to recommend me for a permanent job with a friend of his.   At first, I was skeptical (I had taken over the family business, after all), but it was becoming difficult to find regular clients anymore, so I agreed.    He gave me a single sheet from a notepad, and told me to write down something about myself that sets me apart from others in my line of work, and I should make it a very impactful statement,  his friend was a very busy man and wouldn't look at more than notes like these.    I wasn't sure what to write on the spot, so he told me to think about it, and return the note when I come back to leave the bill for my work.

So I came back a few days later, went through the gate to drop off my bill and my note about how I am much better than any other glass cleaner out there.    Well, it turns out the friend of the publishing agency's owner was a hiring manager for a well-known computer company, and my note really caught his eye, and I was offered the job!   Now I make more money every two weeks than I had with a month!   At first, I though my father would be upset by me leaving the family business behind, but he told me "As long as you are happy where you are, with what you are doing, then you are succeeding in life.  You are no longer a student of glass cleaning, you are my equal, and I am proud of you"  I never realized how freeing it

Coworker found a loophole and it’s mostly dressed as a bear. I’ve used all my bear puns! Help me make more! Work at a gas station/pizza place

. . . . . . . . . . At a whale-weigh station.

But I just left the gas station.

He walked into the police station and yelled "help! I'm on five per cent!" First, a cop punched him. Then, one of them plugged him in to a power bank Suddenly he had reached 100%. It was a miracle They charged him with assault and battery

PrayStation

They crash and Poop falls out. Shutup runs to the nearby police station asking for help. A policeman asks “What’s your name?” “Shutup” “Excuse me? Where are your manners?” the policeman replies “Out on the road scraping up Poop!”

I called the police station and said I was assaulted.

And I remember he used to be stationed in exotic places all over the world. Once he came back home with a very exotic looking bird. I asked him what kind of a bird it was and he told me it’s a rare almost extinct species called a Foux (pronounced Foo). This foux was the apple of his eye and he would take care of the bird as if it was his own child. Sometime during this period the Foux began developing a real bad case of constipation and my father was really worried about it. He tried all kinds of medicines to make the Foux pass it’s bowels, but nothing was working. One day, during this period, I woke up to a huge argument taking place between my parents. My mom was accusing him of cheating on her during one of his tours, she had found some pictures of him and another woman and he was denying it vehemently. I realized then that my father had been quite the philanderer and this wasn’t the first time he had been caught. My mom was trying to get him to just admit to his indiscretion.

“Why don’t you just admit it Harry”, she said;

but he stuck to his denial,

“You think I could ever do something like this Sarah”, he said.

Right then amidst all this ruckus, the Foux began to take a dump, in the middle of the living room.

My mom looked at the bird, then looked back at my dad and with a sense of resignation she just said “Well if the Foux shits...”

Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots.

He invited Lois Lane to visit. Her plane was late, and she called the house to ask directions. He answered and told her:

"Take the last train to Clark's villa, and I'll meet you at the station."

At a whale-weigh station

We had a station wagon.

They're my favorite Gas stations

The BP station.

What do you call a gas station named after a footballer?,Antoine Greasemann

Being the head of the NSA during the week and captaining the International Space Station on the weekends can be very exhausting

https://www.space.com/meat-grown-in-space-station-bioprinter-first.html

The steaks have never been higher.

The Whale-weigh station

I went to play station 5

They're afraid of the spay station

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

I’ll see myself out...

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

At the BP station

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus-station, the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station

On my desk I have a work station...

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

On my desk, I have a work station.