C Bus Puns

Friend of mine is going to be driving a bus around Australia, decked out motor home style. What are your best bus puns for a name?

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

Ur a bus.

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

I’ll see myself out...

However, after handing over his cash, he was only left with 10 cents. He didn't have enough money to catch a bus home. So he went to the telegram office. He asked the lady how much it was to send a telegram home. 10 cents a word she said.

Well, what one word could he send home to his father to explain the situation?

"Comfortable"

How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?

The people sitting near me on the bus don’t look like they appreciate it.

A school bus

Egyptian Transport Secretary: We need a new bus

My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.

Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.

We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"

Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”

I am bad at being a bus driver, guess I should reTIRE

The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.

Ooops, wrong bus!

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to hand him the money.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said,

"Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."

The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much,to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all.

Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 year

Barman says ‘why you crying?’ He says ‘a bus containing 30 Karens went over a cliff’ Barman says ‘so why you crying?’ He says; ‘there was 5 empty seats!’

Yet, I just fit a bus in here.

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts,which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'. 'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?' The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

The woman storms off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

When you're not having fun it usually takes the bus.

a school bus

... Not on fire and screaming like everyone else on the bus he was driving.

That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.

Had to move back home because he had too many poor scenes

**thought of it on the bus ride home, be gentle haha

A woman named Tiana was taking the bus from D.C NY. Somewhere in NJ, the bus began to rock back and forth, sputtered for a few moments, and then stopped.

“Bus down,” thought Tiana.

Bus driver: "£2.40 please"

Skeleton: "Sorry, I'm skint"

(I think this one only works with Scottish dads)

A school bus.

So I pushed her under a bus

That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

It was a universal cereal bus

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus-station, the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.

One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.

One is a crusty bus station and one is a busty crustacean.

So I told him it would be a lot safer if he got IN the bus!