What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!!!

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tpurvis06
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2022
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

*stolen from a Monty Python sketch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robb3566
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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I saw a chameleon today.....

Needless to say, it was a shitty chameleon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vect77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2022
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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What do you call that rumbling in your belly before diarrhea?

Turdbulence.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2022
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNNGG!

-I admit this was slightly crappy...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schaefy_
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
All the dad jokes that have made me laugh/breath out my nose since I had my firstborn at the start of 2021

Some of these are border-line uncle jokes. I'm also an uncle. I keep all these jokes in my dadabase. Aka Google notes.

Some of these I got off of podcasts, the dad joke API, some from movies, but most are from this sub. Let me know if you want a source for a joke or if one of them was yours I'll give credit.

It's ok to be Frank with people. Or josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.

What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck

If the USA is so great then why did they make USB?

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa. Which is strange.
You think he'd be from mad-at-gas-car

How did Jesus keep his abs? Crossfit

What does a Jewish cowboy celebrate Yee-Hanukka

What did the stamp say to the letter Stick with me and you'll go places

I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick She's still not talking to me

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it. Envelope βœ‰

Why do people on Athens hate getting up early Because dawn is tough on Grease

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain A purramid

Why do fish like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze

If april showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? PILGRIMS

Why do cemeteries have fences Because people are dying to get in

Did you know Bruce Lee had a Faster older brother? Sudden lee

Did you know he also had a Vegan brother? Broco lee

Pig black belt in karate Pork chop

How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in 3 cups of coffee If you have 20 sugar cubes? You have to use all the cubes.

You put 1 in the first cup, one in the second cup, and 18 in the last cup. Because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put on a cup of coffee.

I was going to tell your a joke about Yoga But it's Not working out

What do you do if your wife starts smoking Use some lubricant

did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds weird, dozen tit?

What did baby corn say to momma corn ( I got a boy scout selling popcorn to eyeroll me on this one) Where's popcorn

What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house? Fettuccine Afradio

What do you call a werewolf streamer? Liken subscribe

Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright? You can tell everybody this is your song.

My mom swears up and down cows arent real I was in udder disbelief

Skeleton goes into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop

Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet Because th

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krowvin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Cow Puns

From animal puns, we bring for you this funniest bundle of cow puns

How does a cow get to the mooooon? It flies through udder space!


What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!


What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.


What is a cows favorite colour? Maroooooooon.


Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.


What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer


What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow? Peanut butter.


What do u call a really strong cow? Beefy.


What do you get when you walk under a cow? A pat on the head.


How does lady gaga like her steak? Raw raw raw raw raw.


Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it didnt want Lady Gaga to make a meat dress out of him.


What are a cows favorite subjects in school? Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus


What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!


What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder-Catastrophe


Where do you find the most cows? Moo-York


What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever


Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!


Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!


Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle? It wants to keep it’s Stockholm!


What is the definition of β€œmoon”? The past tense of β€œmoo”!


Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!


Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!


Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!


What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!


What’s the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight jumper !


What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a


What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A shadow


What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.


What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!


What did the calf say to the silo? β€œIs my fodder in there?”


What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!


Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!


What’s a cow’s favorite moosi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AThinker2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell

β€œDung”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/avalanche66choage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2022
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TongaII
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2022
🚨︎ report
What s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluddystump
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2022
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1n1b1ker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!!!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keithninety
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What's Brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung πŸ’©

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murageh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats brown and sounds like a bell

Dung!

I heard this from montey python

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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomguy7588
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

DUUUNNGGG πŸ””

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Melvinironfist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rtgurley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dunnnnggggg

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SausageOnToast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown, smelly, and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renegadehamster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/googonite
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willstonebridge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RzRshRp98
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and kind of sounds like a bell?

Dunnng

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyCaptain30
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and sort of sounds like a bell?

Dung.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyCaptain30
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown, smells bad, and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkHirsbrunner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What's brown, stinks and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuicedJohan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arroword-Warrior
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geekwalrus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Just some jokes about colours

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

  • a carrot

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

  • dung

What’s green and smells like red paint?

  • green paint

Whats red and bad for your teeth

  • a brick

I was diagnosed with colour blindness today,

  • I tell you, that came right out of the purple.

Colours making a phone call... Green green, green green....Yellow!

What colour is the wind

  • blew

What’s grey and can’t fly

  • a car park
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djgw88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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