Britain in the Middle Ages Puns

A list of puns related to "Britain in the Middle Ages"

What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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👤︎ u/give_me_my_identity
📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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I once saw a documentary about the different kinds of sanitary napkins women used during the middle ages

It was a real Period Piece

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👤︎ u/Caddiss_jc
📅︎ Oct 19 2021
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What language do people speak in the middle of the earth?

Core-ean

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👤︎ u/SoonicZoom
📅︎ Jan 01 2022
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How would a middle aged man find a companion to hang out with? Go to events with? Talk about life with? But not in a romantic way.

Asking for a friend.

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👤︎ u/andstep234
📅︎ Aug 17 2021
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?

Bob.

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👤︎ u/HiIntelligence
📅︎ Sep 18 2021
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"Do you know the theme song for Malcolm in the Middle?"

Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?

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👤︎ u/iamaaronmullen
📅︎ Jan 09 2022
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What is the worst part about being a letter carrier in the middle ages?

All the chain mail.

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👤︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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What's the coldest city in Britain?

Edin-brrrr-gh!

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👤︎ u/DENelson83
📅︎ Nov 01 2021
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What's it called when there's no peanut butter in the middle?

Reesish

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👤︎ u/PerspectiveSandwich
📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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Did anyone watch the game at the weekend? Springer became the oldest player to score 3 goals in a match at age 74

It was a Jerry Hat-trick

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👤︎ u/GuruWitch
📅︎ Jan 19 2022
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What do you call a women standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

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👤︎ u/xDispicableTx
📅︎ Dec 16 2021
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Did you know making people laugh in the middle ages

Was a good jester?

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👤︎ u/zsm1994
📅︎ Jun 05 2020
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How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?

Moataboat

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👤︎ u/ade_mcc
📅︎ Aug 30 2020
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She said she wasn’t into middle aged guys…

So I had to put my long sword and trebuchet away.

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👤︎ u/familiarfate01
📅︎ Jul 17 2021
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Why were people in the middle ages so medival and when did people advance from being mid-evil to advanced-evil?
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👤︎ u/tflightz
📅︎ Mar 26 2020
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Son is catching up to me in age

This is more dad humor than a dad joke.

Cake day is coming up and so my son decided to give me a hard time about being old.

I responded that I may be old be he was catching up. He looked at me funny so I explained.

“When I was 24 you turned 1 year old. At that moment I was 24:1 or 24 times your age.

I am now 40 and you are 17 so 40:17 or 2.35 times your age. 24 is much larger than 2.35 so clearly you are catching up”

He responded, you can’t use ratios to compare two dates.

I said sure I can and made a graph:

https://imgur.com/gallery/5atlNhZ

I even included percentages to drive home the point.

He smacked his head and walked away.

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👤︎ u/Bustnbig
📅︎ Dec 08 2021
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What was the most popular music in the stone age

Rock music

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👤︎ u/No-Nefariousness1269
📅︎ Dec 17 2021
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Recently a wine aged in space was put up for sale

I wanted to buy it, but the price was astronomical.

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👤︎ u/YZXFILE
📅︎ Dec 09 2021
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What's Winnie The Poo's middle name?

The

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👤︎ u/Kyledidntdoit
📅︎ Jan 13 2022
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What’s round on the ends and hi in the middle?

OHIO

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👤︎ u/ProjectNo1493
📅︎ Nov 21 2021
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What do you call it when a pro golfer's watch breaks in the middle of a PGA tournament held in early April?

A timeless masters piece.

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👤︎ u/sh4wnSp3nstAR
📅︎ Dec 14 2021
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A couple recently broke up in the middle of our local gym

Clearly didn't workout

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👤︎ u/ChiliXT
📅︎ Jul 14 2021
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When I was in florida I saw signs saying "animal sanctuary 5$." so I decided to follow them but when I got there it was just a middle aged couple with hundreds of house cats and one dog in a cage.

It was a Shih Tzu

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👤︎ u/HairyClefairy
📅︎ Feb 13 2021
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Why can't you make a jail out of mobile phones in the middle of nowhere?

There's no bars

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👤︎ u/Known_ink
📅︎ Oct 13 2021
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Recently learned there were dromedaries in medieval Britain.

They got them from Camelot.

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👤︎ u/SydneyCartonLived
📅︎ Nov 07 2021
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How are monks in Britain helping tourists to find the restrooms and them also praising the Lord the same?

“The hallway loo, yeah?”

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👤︎ u/psychodelephant
📅︎ Sep 30 2021
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middle-aged guy next to me in the pub yesterday asked the barman if they have a lighter ....

but they only had matches!

so he took them and said

"they'll do just fine. thank you very ...

match"

and yes, he paused, did the finger gun and winked.

surely he was a dad.

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👤︎ u/i_accidently_reddit
📅︎ Mar 08 2014
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What do you call the middle child in a family of Millipedes.

Centipede.

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👤︎ u/Thinkhama
📅︎ Oct 07 2021
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When kingdoms fought in the middle ages

They were playing for keeps.

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👤︎ u/kingofthewildducks
📅︎ May 08 2019
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What would you name a book that's about a horse's dreams in the middle ages?

The Nightmares of a Knight's Mare.

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👤︎ u/Vernal59
📅︎ Feb 20 2019
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Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights.

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👤︎ u/HiroBrowe
📅︎ Nov 28 2021
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Does anyone know the oldest age you can be for a circumcision?

I’m just trying to figure out the cutoff date.

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👤︎ u/itsidahojoe
📅︎ Dec 26 2021
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Three men were in a boat stuck in the middle of the ocean. They had 4 cigarettes but no matches or lighter or any way of smoking them. How did they smoke them?

They threw one cigarette into the sea and then they were a cigarette lighter.

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👤︎ u/No_Giraffe401
📅︎ Sep 23 2021
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My daughter told me her friends joined the middle school band & orchestra and she wanted to do it too.

I said "Sorry kiddo, you're gonna have to wait until you're in high school…"

"because it's got sax and violins."

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👤︎ u/PimplupXD
📅︎ Jan 06 2022
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When I was your age and I didn’t have anything to do, I went outside and dug holes in the ground.

But it was still boring.

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👤︎ u/TheMissingButtPlug
📅︎ Oct 14 2021
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Why is it spelled "Color" in the US but "Colour" in Britain?

Because after the revolutionary war, the freed United States told Britain defiantly, "We're getting rid of you".

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👤︎ u/kingdomgamer2019
📅︎ May 03 2021
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What do you call the Danish home that's in the middle of the street?

Aarhus

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👤︎ u/techtornado
📅︎ Aug 30 2021
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Did you hear that middle-aged people are the happiest?

Yeah, they’re halving the time of their life.

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👤︎ u/Zotiko
📅︎ Aug 25 2020
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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👤︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
📅︎ Jan 18 2022
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Did you hear about the ballerina who kept taking naps in the middle of the ballet?

She's a break dancer.

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ Sep 07 2021
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In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator". /r/Jokes/comments/pp860g/…
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👤︎ u/numerous__papaya
📅︎ Sep 16 2021
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I once saw a documentary about the different kinds of sanitary napkins women used during the middle ages

It was a real Period Piece

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👤︎ u/Caddiss_jc
📅︎ Oct 19 2021
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What did they call the tampon in the middle ages?

A period piece

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👤︎ u/wasprobot
📅︎ Oct 24 2019
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