Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.
Its because everyone in the play is in a cast
...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
That's mitosis
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
Poor guy turned to a life of mime.
...police are still looking for leads.
Bears must really like Hip-Hop.
Never, EVER go back to those two places.
Police searching for iWitnesses...
I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it
The law maker was outlawed.
Why would I hurt myself in an emergency?
The changing sea son.
Top Parts
How is broken glass supposed to put out a fire?
Because I'm lack-toes intolerant.
Because Missouri loves Company.
...which is a shame, because otherwise I could make a humerus pun.
Because they're already in a cast.
It was an Apple turnover.
One made up by my dad! He's so impressed with himself for making it up he has told the joke where ever possible over the past few years!
They are trained for the worst queso-nario
I screamed, "Lego of me!"
T’ issue paper
..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"
^No racism intended whatsoever
Credit for pun goes to [ollies-outies] (http://ollies-outies.tumblr.com)
A Dreamcast.
Me: No, I think we should stay together until Sept. 1st. It's the lease we can do.
She was telling a story about how her luggage got stopped on its way to Europe because her vibrator that had been acting up turned on in her suitcase.
Halfway out the door, I peeked back in and asked.."oh, was it giving you a hard time?"
A train traveling through the DDR is carrying Stalin, Krushchev, and Breznev through the Urals. It breaks down.
Stalin lines up the crew of the train, the local villagers, and the passengers, and shoots every 5th person.
Krushchev lines up the survivors and gives them a rousing speech about how much better Soviet trains will run in 7 years.
Breznev sits back down, pulls the blind shut, bounces up and down in his seat, and pretends the train is still running.
The DDR politburo votes themselves out of office because the train won't run.
:D
Because every play has a cast
The changing sea son.
Bears must really like Hip-Hop.
