Brahan Seer Puns

Was listening to one of my favourite old albums, Big Country's "The Seer" and did a bit of a rabbit-hole that was never available to me as a kid.

Wiki:
>The Brahan Seer, known in his native Scottish Gaelic as Coinneach Odhar ("Dark Kenneth"), and Kenneth Mackenzie, was, according to legend, a predictor of the future who lived in the 17th century.

The Brahan Seer is the subject of the title track, and reading up on some of the books about him I found this:

https://archive.org/details/propheciesbraha01mackgoog/page/n14/mode/2up
>We have received the following version from Mr Macintyre : —
Although the various accounts as to the manner in which Coinneach Odhar became gifted with second-sight differ in some respects, yet they all agree in this, that it was acquired while he was engaged in the humble occupation of cutting peats or divots, which were in his day generally, and still are in many places, used as fuel throughout the Highlands of Scotland.
On the occasion referred to, being somewhat tired, he laid himself down, resting his head upon a little knoll, and waited the arrival of his wife with his dinner, whereupon he fell fast asleep.
On awakening, he felt something hard under his head, and, on examining the cause of the uneasiness, discovered a small round stone with a hole through the middle of it.
He picked it up, and looking through it, saw by the aid of this prophetic stone that his wife was coming to him with a dinner consisting of sowans and milk, polluted, though unknown to her, in a manner which, as well as several other particulars connected with it, we forbear to mention.
But Coinneach found that though this stone was the means by which a supernatural power had been conferred upon him, it had, on its very first application, deprived him of the sight of that eye with which he looked through it, and he continued ever afterwards cam, or blind of an eye.

Sound familiar?
The Bidamon, or "peyote" seer stone.
https://www.lostmormonism.com/josephs-sandy-colored-seer-stone/

A Single Suspicion,

Hey anyone who may be reading this I still always want to start off by stating that you should probably read my last post before you read this to understand what I'm talking about. Also, life has been getting very muddled recently and I know it's been months since my last post but I wanted to try and even out some grounds due to this whole COIVD 19 situation going on. Anyways here is me continuing my strange life story.

Last night I stayed up for hours just reading the rest of Anna's story then I posted it on to Reddit. Yes, this is me talking about the past and what happened in the past. I know it's very confusing and kind of odd. That same night I decided to be like Anna and wrote out my own beginning of my story on her account. I take months to upload I know. But something that I read when I was going through her story struck me. Fantasma I was so sure I had heard of that name before. It just rang a bell in the back of my head for some reason.

I remember being told a story about it when I was younger, though it was played off as though it were a bedtime story when I was younger. I haven't heard it in decades and the only person I remember ever telling me the story was my grandmother. I'm not so sure how she adds into any of this equation.

She had been getting ill a lot recently making me feel like it was getting near her time to pass on. As sad as that was to think about I wanted to solve the mystery of whether she knew anything about Fantasma before anything happened to her.

So that morning as I got dressed late as usual and ran downstairs to see my scowling mother's face I only had one question. "Mom, can we go see grandma later?" Her scowl loosened until she looked honestly confused.

"You. Wanting to see your grandmother?" I could see the skepticism flare-up in her eyes her posture changed to non-trusting instantly, putting me on guard.

"Ma-I" She interrupted me, "I thought you said that seeing her that way would ruin the image you had of her when she was fully functioning and healthy."

"Yeah that's true, But I miss her too much," I whispered resigned.

My mother sighed with exhaustion it was her mother who was sick. I'm sure it hurts to see her mother that way too.

"Okay later today, after you get out of school, come directly home and I'll take you and Bobby to see her. I need to do something anyways near where she lives." I nodded in understanding before grabbing a green apple and walking out the front door followed b

Hacking into the Desktop part 2,

Here is the continuation from yesterday's story. Consider this part 2 .

I started to jog over to his house feeling almost anxious for some odd reason. Then the feeling deployed into full panic before I realized what was actually happening. It was one of those damn random headaches that could take me out for hours and make my nose bleed. This was the worst time to have one. I still continued to run, but my stupid mind started to swell. It hurt so bad, the pain shattered the feeling of sweat that was beginning to build up on my body.

I ran quicker and quicker before I began to believe that I was running from myself. I wanted the pain to end so badly. I covered my ears as a ear splitting noise of silence hit me hard. I felt extremely nauseous as my body began to slow to a halt. My vision was blurring in and out I couldn't take it I felt forward onto the concrete and rolled into the grass then I barfed up my breakfast and dinner from last night. I puked and heaved and hurt until I couldn't anymore.

My vision was worse it went to dark to and extreme light that I couldn't even feel if my eyes were open anymore. I couldn't see the light was too blinding I couldn't feel my eyes I shut them and felt my fingers around them to make sure that I actually shut them. Still the blinding white remained.

Sound had washed out into a kind of far away noise that buzzed in the back ground. My leg started to vibrate softly it soothed me slightly. I just layed there heaving up nothing and trying to concentrate on breathing correctly.

After five minutes my hearing came back then the shock of white started to leave from my sight. I could actually feel the grass beneath me again. My sweaty body and dirt that clung to me made me feels gross.

I got up slowly and felt the buzz again on my leg it was my phone. I pulled it out and a drop of liquid fell onto it as I did so. The liquid was blood. I quickly pulled my hand up to my nose and touched down feeling a wet texture at the tips of my finger.

I pulled my hand away from my face to discover that my nose was in fact bleeding. I cursed softly as I again unlocked my phone, there sat some more texts from Reece. All said was 'hurry up' he typed that almost 10 times.

I got up and pulled a tissue out of my backpack and blew my nose into it, trying to get as much blood out as possible. I also got some cologne out and sprayed it all over me. Trying to cover my sweat smell, hopefully it works. I t

COINNEACH ODHAR [Translation below]

Chuala mi mòran mu Choinneach Odhar. Bha Coinneach Odhar ann ceart gu leòr. Seall fhèin an rud a thuirt e mun uisge an seo. Thuirt e an t-uisge a bha a’ ruith sìos gun rachadh e suas fhathast. Coimhead air an Spè ’s ann sìos a bha i a’ dol. Tha i a’ dol suas a-nis. Bha Coinneach Odhar ann ceart gu leòr. Seall mar a thuirt e gum biodh horseless carriages a’ dol agus tha sin ann, na càraichean. Ach aon rud nach do thachair fhathast. Bha sin dar nach robh trèinichean idir ann, gun deach train an Loch Trèig. O! cha do thachair e. Ach tha e coltach gu leòr. Tha na banks a’ falbh – tha fhios agad. Dh’fhaodadh e tachairt. Ach sin agad aon rud nach do thachair fhathast. Agus roimhe seo cha rachadh duine sam bith a ghabhail gnothach ri uisge. Chaidh an t-uisge a chur an sin airson ruith an rathad aige fhèi’, agus cha mhath gnothach a ghabhail ris. Tha iad ag ràdha nach robh e lucky, tha fhios agad. Chuala mi meall de naidheachdan dar a bha mi òg. Bha mo mhàthair uamhaidh math air na naidheachdan. Cha robh mi ach òg san tìm sin.

THE BRAHAN SEER I’ve heard a lot about the Brahan Seer. The Brahan Seer existed alright. Look at what he said about this stretch of water. He said the water that would flow down then would yet flow upwards. Look at the Spey as the way it used to flow downwards and now it flows upwards. The Brahan Seer existed alright. Look at what he said that there would be horseless carriages and they now have cars. But there is one thing that hasn’t happened yet. That was when there were no trains and that one would go into Lochtreig. Oh! that hasn’t happened. But it apparently it could. The banks are eroding – you know. It could happen. But there you have one thing that hasn’t happened yet. Before this no one would have any business with the water. The water was put there so that it would flow along its own path, and so it wouldn’t be good to interfere with it. They say that it wouldn’t be lucky, you know. When I was young I heard a lot of stories. My mother was very good at telling stories. I was only young at the time.

COMMENTARY The Brahan Seer has been the focus of a previous blog which is still available to view: [http://calumimaclean.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/the-strange-fate-and-death-of-brahan.html].

NOTE: [Reciter: Archibald Cameron, Kinlochlaggan, Badenoch; transcriber: Calum Maclean on 28/06/1952 (Ref: CIM I.I.15: pp. 1381–82)].

Abandoned Exploring,

Hello there Reddit users, before we start if you haven't read Anna's story yet. I highly advise you too, or else you might be sorta confused as to what's going on. For the Reddit users who have followed this far and does know what's going on.

I bet you were probably wondering how I got ahold of Anna's laptop well I thought maybe it would be better to tell you how in full detail. Then I'll explain how me and Anna's journey's are similar. This is still all so crazy to me, but I guess you learn to live with it.

It all started when I was at my best friend Treasure's home/restaurant we were hanging out with our friends Max and Reece, when Treasure's uncle Randall walked up to us he seemed quizzical of something while staring at Reece.

Treasure and Reece were having their usual quarrel about something weird or obscene. While Max and I were forced to listen in discomfort and annoyance as per usual.

"What's a damn pickle got to do with anything, you fat idiot!" screamed an angry Treasure as she pushed back her curly afro hair behind her left ear with her chocolate colored hand.

"I have every right to speak on the injustice of pickle juice left in every hamburger I ever bought from Wendy's." said an equally angry and dramatic Reece as he shoved pieces of hamburger into his mouth letting some chewed bits fall from his lips as he spoke.

I grimaced at the sight and nodded towards Treasure's uncle in acknowledgment he smiled at me and Max and then set down a free plate of smoking hot pizza. I instantly grabbed the slice beating my other friends to the pizza. Reece sneered at me like I stole his first wife, and Max just said "Ah! man, I wanted that one." Treasure's glare stayed stuck on Reece's sweaty pimple stained face never wavering.

I began to nibble on my slice of pizza as Max beside me pulled out a sandwich that looked more like two slices of wet bread stuffed with mayonnaise, he too began to eat though he chomped away at the liquid sandwich with annoyance clear on his face. Randall came back with a second slice of hot piping pizza on a plate and he set it down in front of Treasure.

"I need to feed my plants if I want them to grow. Correct Treasure?" He smiled down at Treasure and she looked at him with a smug smile "correct uncle." She looked at Reece with a pointed expression "at least someone gets it."

Reece raises a skeptical eyebrow in response "'It' tastes absolutely horrid, nothing can overcome my love for chicken and ste

According to the book, a new ruler of Scotland will spring from Lovat's lineage…in a prophecy made by the Brahan Seer.

Who do you think the prophecy is referring to?

Brianna? Or William (illegitimate) ?

honestly what were those last 200 pages?! i feel like i missed so much and i’m just confused on some aspects because they went right over my head.

mainly: why does geillis want to find brianna? i know it has to do with her being the last descendent of the lovat lineage but what does she intend to do with her / why does she want to find her?

those last 100 pages really just went over my head hahaha!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

A Single Suspicion,

Hey anyone who may be reading this I still always want to start off by stating that you should probably read my last post before you read this to understand what I'm talking about. Also, life has been getting very muddled recently and I know it's been months since my last post but I wanted to try and even out some grounds due to this whole COIVD 19 situation going on. Anyways here is me continuing my strange life story.

Last night I stayed up for hours just reading the rest of Anna's story then I posted it on to Reddit. Yes, this is me talking about the past and what happened in the past. I know it's very confusing and kind of odd. That same night I decided to be like Anna and wrote out my own beginning of my story on her account. I take months to upload I know. But something that I read when I was going through her story struck me. Fantasma I was so sure I had heard of that name before. It just rang a bell in the back of my head for some reason.

I remember being told a story about it when I was younger, though it was played off as though it were a bedtime story when I was younger. I haven't heard it in decades and the only person I remember ever telling me the story was my grandmother. I'm not so sure how she adds into any of this equation.

She had been getting ill a lot recently making me feel like it was getting near her time to pass on. As sad as that was to think about I wanted to solve the mystery of whether she knew anything about Fantasma before anything happened to her.

So that morning as I got dressed late as usual and ran downstairs to see my scowling mother's face I only had one question. "Mom, can we go see grandma later?" Her scowl loosened until she looked honestly confused.

"You. Wanting to see your grandmother?" I could see the skepticism flare-up in her eyes her posture changed to non-trusting instantly, putting me on guard.

"Ma-I" She interrupted me, "I thought you said that seeing her that way would ruin the image you had of her when she was fully functioning and healthy."

"Yeah that's true, But I miss her too much," I whispered resigned.

My mother sighed with exhaustion it was her mother who was sick. I'm sure it hurts to see her mother that way too.

"Okay later today, after you get out of school, come directly home and I'll take you and Bobby to see her. I need to do something anyways near where she lives." I nodded in understanding before grabbing a green apple and walking out the front door followed b

My Secret Gift,

Hey there whoever may be reading this. This post may be a little long overdue but I'm going to explain myself. In this post. Anyways let's continue my annoying life story.

I was at school with my three friends Treasure, Reece, and Max when it happened. We were in the middle of running 'the mile' of 'fun'. When the worst headache of all time hit me. My friends were trying to ignore Reece talking about his new ice cream cone dish he made himself last night. When out of no where my head started to splurge suddenly, NO this was NOT happening, WHY! NOW! god must hate me. I fall onto the back of my head slamming hard into the ground, I felt a bone in my left shoulder pop in my ear from the impact. The noise sounded too loud, and extremely wrong, yet so perfect, like a popping sound of a ball coming from the surface of a perfect circle in bound, I was disgusted.

I heard yelling and screaming, some loud thuds and movement, but for the love of me, I couldn't see the sunset if I wanted too. Everything was too blurry, and it all started to slowly sway back and fourth making me feel like I was in the midst of pumping fourth the lunch I had ate earlier.

I heard chaotic screams and foot falls, that sounded panicky but too faraway to fully develop a true sense in my mind. I was definitely not all 'there' right now, I slowly closed my blurry eyes, allowing my body to buzz I felt absolutely nothing no pain or ground beneath me, which was sorta a strange feeling. I felt so disconnected.

I slowly rose back to the conscious world, I felt my lungs breathing unsteadily, I heard someone gasping beside me and another whimpering in front of me. I opened my eyes trying to get them to adjust to the way too white walls, everything was extremely blurry for two seconds, I closed my eyes back for a while then I opened them again. Right in front of my face stood some extreme close ups of my friends faces. I freaked out slightly jumping back away from them.

"What-what's go-going on... um guys." I rubbed my face tiredly feeling the headache stir up in the back of my head, from the jolting movement.

"Bro I thought you died.." whispered Max gasping for air sporadically. I looked into his eyes confused, his eyes held worry and safety. Treasure looked at me stone faced seeming to be wearing a poker face, she looked down and away from my gaze, then I looked over to Reece he was trembling for some reason and crying slightly. I whispered "what?" more confused than eve

Do your worst!

When I got home, they were still there.

After all his first name is No-vac