Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears

Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?

πŸ‘︎ 162
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEnBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A German boy pushes his brother off a cliff.

β€œLook mom, no Hans!”

πŸ‘︎ 356
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vissik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Boy, that second impeachment...

...really trumps the first one.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaserGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the longest boy name?

Miles.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father

is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.

Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...

Bison

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?

They don’t want to get qwerties.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
my wife and I found out that our boy was convicted of burning down houses

no matter what he's still arson

πŸ‘︎ 345
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ax3-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife gave birth to our baby boy otw to the hospital...

We named him Carson.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cromlorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When my boys were playing ball, they accused me of spraying the ball with the watering hose. I didn't spray it.

I mist it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brichouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a very nutty boy
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heimthror
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/petertree
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
@my office: 4 yr boy says β€œwhy did the Christmas cookie go to the dentist?”

Because he had Ginger-vitis!

That father had the biggest smile on his face.. happy holidays everybody!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tizom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad holds baby boy

Baby smiles and starts to coo. "Hai ku, I am dad."

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Japanese man say when he saw his boy scratch his leg?

1 2, 3?

Edit: read the numbers in Japanese

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy...

It's one part rum, three parts pum.

(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metermind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkaath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...

... General Lee speaking.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djxiii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
more like ham boys
πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."

"I'm over here dad." He replied.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My Spanish friends little boy still can't say please....

And I think it's poor for four.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.

He started pointing them out to me.

"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."

++++++++++++++++++

I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.

I like it. I'm proud of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
So, a boy tells a girl a joke...

He says "what do you call it when an environmentalist sets a forest on fire?"

She says "I don't know."

He says "Treeson." The girl laughs

He follows saying "Yknow, if you'd like more of these jokes, I got them from a cool source if you're interested."

The girl says "Yes, I'm interested."

The boy then replies "Good to know SOMEONE is interested in me."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicholas-Pressey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My time in the Boy Scouts really made me a supporter of gay marriage

It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8675309ice
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember boys, if your girl looks like this, she's a kiefer.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boyfriendZero
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the boy whose glasses were stolen find them?

He had his contacts

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

He wanted to see a butter-fly!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just walked 5 miles, and boy...

... are my calves mooing.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"

His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

πŸ‘︎ 333
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquarian9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a robotic boy that delivers messages?

E-male.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twillo_11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I was once a boy trapped in a woman’s body

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Meats back on the menu boys
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ng_art
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
SPONGEBOB ME BOY

I HAVE FINALLY SEQUENCED THE HUMAN GENOME

ACGACGACGACGACAGACG

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimjam916
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, β€œWhy does earth fall down like that?”

His dad answers, β€œIt’s terrain.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ellegirl82091
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the buffalo say when his boy left?

Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he could behave..

β€œWhy do I always have to pay you to be good”

Why can’t you be a good for nothing like your dad

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My boys were arguing about who would get to drive the go-kart around the track...

I told them, "You guys should take turns".

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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