He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
He wanted to become a grater man
"I lost my daddy" says the boy. "We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?" asked the officer. "Liquor and women."
Then I was born
“...my mother was never a young boy.”
The father replied “because it’s a non-prophet organization.”
Single-handedly.
He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, “What is your first wish?”
The kid says, “I wish I were rich!” The genie replies, “It is done! What is your second wish, Rich?”
They are all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles!
Bison.
One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.
So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".
Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.
"Verte-bruh"
I think It may have cost him a couple arms and a couple legs.
His name was Josh Buttlicker. Everyone used to make fun of him. On his 10th birthday his dad asked him what he wanted as a gift.
He said “I am so sick of everyone making fun of my name and I really want you to change it officially”.
Dad said “No way! This is our family name, which represents our lineage, and I will never do it.”
He tried asking again on his 11, 12th up to his 17th birthday. But his dad denied his wish every time.
Finally on his 18th birthday, he told his dad “You cannot do anything now. I am of legal age and it is my decision!!” He rushed to the court with a lawyer, and completed all the paperwork to change his name legally.
Then he came home, and his dad asked “well, what is it?”
He said “Dave Buttlicker”.
Not long after that, I became a fishmonger.
I don't think he need that lunch anymore. He already 8
I don’t like chairy flavored food.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
They both made out like bandits.
It was a crash course.
Because it was too dark
"Me and my recliner go way back."
Because he was Far-from-nougat!
Sea son's greetings.
"woof" guy replies
Sometimes, not so solid, either.
They were in tents
From the shelf beside him, an abacus says "Dont worry kid, you can always count on me"
I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.
I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...
Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.
Never judge a brook by its color.
Dyson
They're both bee-prepared.
Choo Choo, was born at 3:30pm today weighing 6lb 8oz.
They're all booby-traps.
He claims it has a nice ring to it.
... I guess you could say these protests are changing the landscape.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
‘I went up to him and went “Pssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’
I went and got them a glass of water.
Now quit playing with my arc welder!
“It’s long story,” replies the father.
FunGus
I went to their first practice, and they spent the whole time tripping over each other while trying to dance.
I guess they weren't N-Sync.
Go to the corner there always around 90°
A four de lease
His favourite was the Korma Chameleon.
Seems everyone has Switch-ed.
You might say he is a karma chameleon
Sticky Notes
"No, but your hat's on crooked."
I told him to check for nuts.
He says he's good dough.
Eve's drop
Hose A and Hose B
Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cuase I still have mine!"
How did the light bulb cross the road?
With legs!!
Then that means
girls are cigarettes
The Hurt of two feetie.
son: dad, did you ever get shot in the army?
dad: no son, I got shot in the leggy.
Because I was born in the 80's and that makes me an eightieist.
//I'm not making this up.
The other answered "16. Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer"
"Round?"
"Round".
"Get a round?"
"I'll get a round".
I would have two sons that are my favorite
Because it was a karma chameleon.
You're purr-fect for me!
We're too young, we cantaloupe!
He was named Justin Case.
If it sinks it's a girl ant
If it floats it's boy ant
You throw them in water, if it sinks, it’s a girl ant, and if it floats, it’s a...
Buoyant!
