I bought a second-hand car from Bonnie Tyler, but I wasn't happy with it.

Every now and then it falls apart.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehIrishSoap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I offered Bonnie Tyler a Twix, but she refused it.

I offered her a Mars Bar, then a Yorkie and finally a Bounty, but she kept saying NO!

I think she was holding out for an Aero...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a Bonnie Tyler Satellite Navigation Sytem once..

Was rubbish, kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it fell apart

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/priv_rex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Bonnie and Clyde got a great deal at the kissing booth.

They made out like bandits.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jasekj919
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
🚨︎ report
The story of a boy named Bonnie

There was a boy in high school named Bonnie. As you can imagine, he was bullied and picked on because of his strange name. This lead to social anxiety and a few other issues, but there was one girl who helped him through all of his pain. He had a huge crush on this girl, and after weeks of psyching himself up, he asked her to the school dance coming up.

Much to his delight, he said yes, and off to the dance they went. They had a great time and shortly after, started dating. They spent a lot of time together, calling, texting and always hanging out. They were meant for each other. They continued dating after high school, into college. On their graduation day, he proposed to her on the stage. He was nervous about asking her in public like this, but as he got down on one knee, her face lit up, tears formed in her eyes. He asked her to marry him, she said yes and the crowd cheered.

Fast forward a few years, they've bought their own house, and she's now pregnant with their first child. In the delivery room, Bonnie is standing by her side, their newborn child in her arms.

"I love you so much, hon." Bonnie told his wife, holding one of her hands. "You can name our baby girl anything you wise." he told her.

"Love. I want to name her Love." she replied, looking into his eyes. Bonnie was surprised by the strange name, and at first hesitant to agree, but he told her she could name their daughter anything. He nods in agreement and they carry on with their lives.

Fourteen years later, as with what happened with Bonnie, Love was picked on in high school for her strange name. One day, Love came home crying.

"What's wrong, Love?" Bonnie asked her worriedly.

"I hate you! Why did you give me such a stupid name?!" she screamed at him. She was furious. She was tired of the teasing and the mockery in high school. In a fit of rage, she pulled out Bonnie's handgun she had found in his night stand. She pulled the trigger and a bullet passed into Bonnie's chest.

Love panicked and ran away, and Bonnie's wife came after hearing the gun shot. She ran to Bonnie's side, picking his head up in her hands. She asked him what had happened.

"Shot through the heart... And you're to blame..." He said, weakly. "You gave Love... A bad name."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2016
🚨︎ report
So I met 80s Rocker Bonnie Tyler for lunch at a deli...

I asked if she preferred a sub sandwich or a hoagie. She said she was holding out for a hero.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R3dempti0n
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2013
🚨︎ report
Was Jack Black? Was Barry white? Was George Strait? Was Marvin Gay?

Sure makes Stevie Wonder.

πŸ‘︎ 881
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, β€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, β€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

β€œWow, that’s incredible!” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

β€œBonnie...” he says. β€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

β€œOh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. β€œHe’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
So I've been using my U2 SatNav for a few weeks now and I'm fed up.

The Streets Have No Name and I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldManGravz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, β€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, β€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

β€œWow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

β€œBonnie,” he says, β€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

β€œOh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. β€œHe’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, β€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, β€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

β€œWow, that’s incredible." the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

β€œBonnie...” he says. β€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

β€œOh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. β€œHe’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report

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