My next challenger is a green sock.
And getting hit with the buckle would hurt a lot
Pork Chops.
...adding insoles to ninjary.
I like it, leather with a nice buckle.
Kung Flu.
I just store it at room temperature.
It's in my wardrobe.
I made it myself
I don't know karate, but the sales clerk at Macy's didn't seem to care.
"Nah I never took karate"
-_-
To keep their pants from falling down
I have a Black Belt in Partial Arts.
He's got a black belt
Kiahhh!
I have a black belt in partial arts
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of whiskey.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know four things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat, the bouncer is a blonde girl with a club, I’m a 6-foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate and the woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters: “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it four times.”
I'm a big guy in the southern US and my big black winter jacket makes me look HUGE. I normally only wear it when I visit family up north. It got cold enough today to wear it and I thought I'd be funny. On our way out the door I belt out "SO LONG AS I WEAR THIS JACKET, YOU WILL REFER TO ME AS KINGPIN AND NOTHING ELSE"
Immediately: "OK nothing else! Nice to meet you nothing else!" [5 hours later] I'm done with my chores nothing else!".
They're so proud of themselves. Har har.
Some of these are border-line uncle jokes. I'm also an uncle. I keep all these jokes in my dadabase. Aka Google notes.
Some of these I got off of podcasts, the dad joke API, some from movies, but most are from this sub. Let me know if you want a source for a joke or if one of them was yours I'll give credit.
It's ok to be Frank with people. Or josh with them. But try not to Rob or Sue them.
What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
If the USA is so great then why did they make USB?
Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa. Which is strange.
You think he'd be from mad-at-gas-car
How did Jesus keep his abs? Crossfit
What does a Jewish cowboy celebrate Yee-Hanukka
What did the stamp say to the letter Stick with me and you'll go places
I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick She's still not talking to me
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it. Envelope ✉
Why do people on Athens hate getting up early Because dawn is tough on Grease
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain A purramid
Why do fish like salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze
If april showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? PILGRIMS
Why do cemeteries have fences Because people are dying to get in
Did you know Bruce Lee had a Faster older brother? Sudden lee
Did you know he also had a Vegan brother? Broco lee
Pig black belt in karate Pork chop
How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in 3 cups of coffee If you have 20 sugar cubes? You have to use all the cubes.
You put 1 in the first cup, one in the second cup, and 18 in the last cup. Because 18 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put on a cup of coffee.
I was going to tell your a joke about Yoga But it's Not working out
What do you do if your wife starts smoking Use some lubricant
did you hear about the woman with 12 breasts? Sounds weird, dozen tit?
What did baby corn say to momma corn ( I got a boy scout selling popcorn to eyeroll me on this one) Where's popcorn
What type of pasta do they serve at a haunted house? Fettuccine Afradio
What do you call a werewolf streamer? Liken subscribe
Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright? You can tell everybody this is your song.
My mom swears up and down cows arent real I was in udder disbelief
Skeleton goes into a bar, he orders a beer and a mop
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet Because th
... keep reading on reddit ➡But I'm a black belt in bingjutsu, Yahfu, YouTujutsu, and tae Qwant do.
I was taught by a legendary master named DuckDuckGoku.
Because he has a ‘black belt’
He's a black belt in Jew Shih Tzu.
After only 4 weeks he was a black belt in Tae Kwon Dough
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Me: (tightening my black belt) I don’t know but he must be pretty strong.
I was looking for a belt that matched my suit coat for a job interview and I ask him if he has a black belt I can borrow. He says, "Nah, I've never really been that good at karate"
Touche.
(I was looking for a belt)
SO- Where's your black belt?
Me-I don't have a black belt, I only got to Orange belt 3rd degree.
SO- Shakes head
Me- Laughs to myself.
I was in Karate when I was a child.
Me: "He's a second degree black belt"
Dad: "That's impressive, what's his first degree in?"
I'm the Best Man in my buddy's wedding, and my dad and stepmom were nice enough to help me shop for and find a decent suit. Going down the checklist of stuff I need, black suit, black shirt, etc. when we get to the belt. My stepmom asks me "don't you already have a black belt?"
So I say "yes"
Dad chimes in "oh wow, I didn't know you took karate."
My next challenge is a green sock.
I have a black belt in Partial Arts.
I have a black belt in partial arts.
He has a black belt.
I have a black belt in partial arts.
Because he's got a Black Belt!
I am a black belt in partial arts.
He has a black belt!
