She never saw it coming!
Edit: I changed the title and still has a typo -.-`
The clerk said “Actually, it is due to increased inflation.”
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
He kept things pretty low key.
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
So they can pasta parcel!
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
They quickly became the centaur of attention
They planet (plan it)
“You will have your cake and eat it too.”
PS: this is the best gift I can get today.
He said he utter-ly loved it!!
It was a blowout
I still don’t think he likes the present.
That was when I realized he was her favorite twin, not me.
The party didn't last very long either.
but eventually he came to.
He takes the cake.
It's pointless.
She thought the song was too sad for rollerskating. I completely agreed and said there should definitely be a separation of church and skate.
So I made her and friends mop the floor and do the dishes.
I told them "you better not be party poopers tomorrow"!
Panda-monium...
WHYYYY MCA!!
It was the icing on the cake.
They really take the cake.
My husband whispers is my year: “in your pants, and daddy’s coming!”
We passed an IHOP, to which I stated "There it is!"
For fun, we went Roberting for apples.
I said that's awesome, but you can't really have much of a party in a minute and a half.
I didn’t like it, it was too rich
but they were completely booked.
Nun showed up.
She asked me if it was present time, I told her it is always present time. She was lost. Felt the need to share
Doubloons!
Without missing a beat my uncle ( her dad) says "1%"
Simple but made the whole table laugh
Prepperoni Pizza
It's good to give them your presence.
Aye matey!
He started to become a nuisance and was aggravating my other guests so I decided to pick him up and throw him out.
He then showed up at my next birthday party and said "what did you do that for?!".
He just sat in the corner with a smirk on his face.
Dad: happy birthday to me
Me: I am almost sure she knows its her birthday.
Czechy Cheese.
Unfortunately they had to cancel. Luckily I found a replacement at the last minute. This new guy was amazing. He looked the part, sang all the songs exactly, and even his mannerisms were spot on.
After the party I went up to the replacement and asked how much I owed him for the gig. He said, "Don't worry mate, I'm pro Bono."
My earliest recollection of a dad joke is when I was about 6/7 years old.
We'd just waved bye to the last guests at my party. Understandably, my parents were beyond exhausted, but tidied up anyway. After all was done, we sat in the living room and my dad pulled out a chair from the dining room. He then brought another, and placed it next to it. He did the same again. I had no idea what was going on, until he sat across all three, threw his hands in the air and shouted:
"Three chairs for dad!"
Absolute quality, textbook dad.
Pasta parcel.
